My lovely sister Mandy is now in the main Hospice in Glasgow. She was unwell most of the week and her pain was so bad this was the best place for her to get good care. The staff are amazing and we can visit 24/7 which is comforting, with tea on tap.
But Mandy is in pain and needs loads of meds. she has stopped eating and just drinks small amounts. when I went to see her earlier she knew it was me but is now in bed and seems to have even less energy than yesterday. and more pain.
Today and often I have been so sad. this afternoon I just started to sob and my lovely husband just held me. my brother has come up with his family last night from London, my daughter and my sister and family are coming up tomorrow.
I need the family now. I am grateful for them all. we had food together tonight and I know my home is the hub so will shop again tomorrow for more food to share. we had 11 at the table tonight and will be15 tomorrow, but there is one space I wish I had Mandy sitting at.
I held her hand tonight and kissed her, yesterday she was able to hold me back. I told her I didn't want to lose her and all she could say was this situation 'wasn't ideal' for her either.
She has never complained, she has borne this evil disease with courage, great strength and pride on and off over the last 13 years.
My wish is for her to be painfree and as lucid as possible to be able to say goodbye to everyone.
am in tears as I type.
I am so concerned for my mum and dad as they are finding it all so hard. we are too.
she is in my thoughts and prayers constantly.
goodnight to you all
