The Dying Game 3

1 minute read time.

Let me tell you what advanced liver cancer looks like.  I used to have a huge arse, thighs and tits - these are now all considerably smaller, but my stomach now rivals John Prescott's.  If you pasted his head on to my body it would look quite realistic.  I've turned from Pauline to John in a matter of months!  I also have coin sized lesions all over my torso, many of which are blue (it's the melanoma).  I have one on my neck which I can make to go up or down if I want to.  Pity I don't have any grandchildren to scare.

Last week was still pain free so we went walking in Wales.  Managed to do circular walks around Pen y Fan and Snowdon, which I though was pretty good for an advanced cancer patient.  I was beginning to think I could do anything....but then the pain struck.  "It's liver stretch pain - the liver pressing against its sack" explained the GP, as he prodded my stomach.  "I don't care, just give me the morphine" I thought.

So now I've been able to add the morphine to my drugs collection - in both liquid and patch form, along with additional nausea tablets.  Three new items to enhance the kitchen drawer!  Thanks to Macmillan, I can now get these free with my new medical exemption certificate, which arrived just in time. 

Spent a couple of days lying on the sofa watching catch up TV and feeling a bit sorry for myself.  I guess I'd better start writing those goodbye letters to my nearest and dearest - I've been thinking about that for weeks without actually taking any direct action.  Maybe I can find a template somewhere on the internet - no, don't even think about it.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Diltongal, your blog made me smile and at the same time very sad. You seem

    to be holding up very well considering,or

    is that a front to save other peoples feelings.You have every right to feel

    sorry for your self, and i think you should be more kind to yourself. I live

    in Wales, do you live in liverpool, i was

    visiting Liverpool on satuday, such a

    clean city. Well if you want to talk about

    how your feeling please pm me anytime.

    With Love Lucylee. xxx  

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    While you were doing the Pen y Fan thing you could have popped in for a cuppa, we are only £125 away from there on a rover ticket used between the hours of bewitching and dawn!

    I am so sorry you are in pain now.  Isn't it strange how dire straits bring out the comedian in us.  Mind you my daughter says they bring out the razor blade in her as does Chris Rea!!

    Take care Diltongirl!

    Cherryl and Peter xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Diltongal, I think you are amazing. You might have John Prescott's stomach, but you have a far superior wit.

    I have pain from my liver area too, but I take amitryptaline which really helps - might be worth trying that?

    Hang in there, thinking of you, Jeanie x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    You certainly don't need any templates - you have a fantastic writing style with wry and insightful undertones.  Please keep on writing.

    Catriona x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi there, just had to reply to your blog.

    Can fully empathise with what you are saying, my partner has advanced cancer (bowel and liver) and he is in a LOT of pain at the moment, more so with the bowel than the liver.

    You seem to have a wry sense of humour, but deep down you must be in pieces-or is it different for the actual patient? I as a carer am finding it such a struggle to watch my partner suffer and i cant even do anything about it, i wish i could take his pain instead (and i mean that).

    At least you are able to go for walks and get around, its such a lovely time of year-and its even warm!! :)

    Take care, sending much love to you, Julie x