hi as some of you may know i was at my doctors last week due to me finding a lump and severe bleeding, well i was at my doctors again this morning about another problem i'm having, she asked me how iwas and if i had heard anything back about biopsy as nothing had come back to her, i explained that i'd heard nothing back and went for my MRI yesterday anyways she phoned his secetary and left a message. I got a call just after 12 today and all my doctor could do was comfirm that i do have cancer and my consultant or his sectary will be intouch today to arrange a meeting for tomorrow as he now has all my results. I am scared shitless to be honest. My doctor has been great and has always been upfront and truthful with me which i appreciate as i explained in my 1st post she was sure it was cancerous and got me seen the very next day, she didnt sound too great on phone she said to phone her tomorrow to let her know how i am.
its going to be one heck of a long night. the fear has came back. also i face going to see him alone tomorrow my daughter is unwell we got a letter from the nursery about swine flu as 14 children had been ill and this was the suspected reason, she became ill very quickly yesterday afternoon and still unwell today her temp down now but she is still not right, due to lack of family and my best friend just having a baby on friday there is only my husband robert to care for her.
ive always said this my whole life if it wasnt for bad luck i'd have none at all.
every time i do something good or get on with my life something bad happens and ruins it. Sorry i'm only feeling sorry for myself. Need a good cry into my pillow i think its hard though i'm trying so hard to carry on not letting the kids see or hear to much but its taken over my life every when i go, every person i seem to have met its a bloody hell of a disease effecting so many good people in this world
Sarah x x
