It was silly oclock in the morning, I was having another nite of nocturnal activity...... this time it was different though. I had spoken to my two aunts to hear the daily up date of how my Dad was doing in hospital with his chest infection. He seemed well was eating better, now that we read the menu correctly and seen he could have it mushed down. Even talking about his renewal of the car insurance. We were rightly worried though, as in the afternoon his professor had came for a visit, to ask the dreaded question...........would you like to go into a hospice??
I knew from experience in the last year what those words meant, and so did the rest of the family. He asked if he could remain in the hospital as he like it their and the staff, they happily agreed. All seemed well as can be expected considering. I had last seen him on the Saturday, only for an hour as he had been very weak the last time and I didn't want to tire hi out quickly. We were talking about, his television we had tried lots of times to get working in his room how its useless. About the children what things they had been up to and showing him some of the photos from our holiday up north on my phone. He was even cracking jokes, which was a joy to see compared with the last visit where he nearly fell asleep in his yogurt god bless him. Moaning, (which is always a good sign) about why the nurses attention button never had a hook on the back like the bed moving one. He even asked what day it was, when he was told he said he was a day early as Sunday was moaning day.
To explain my father and I had this kind of relationship were no affection or words need spoken but we just knew, it was almost stronger than any words of affection. And yet when he was diagnosed in May he cuddled me for the first time since I was a little girl. This needless to say it made to know straight away how bad things were. After on normal daily chit chat I said we better head off to get the children and that I would see him soon. I kissed him on the forehead and told him to take care. This kiss on the head had only begun since he had went into hospital for the second time. I then processed to leave him. Never did I know that would be the last time I heard his voice, smelt him, seen him smile or make a joke.
In my madness of not being able to sleep I cleaned the whole of my downstairs on my hands and knees and made myself a cuppa. Looked at the time and it was just after 3am. I went to the back door to watch the nite skye and get some fresh air when my mobile vibrated. I knew!!
