Talking to no one.

1 minute read time.

Having a tough day. Mother in law still not home from hospital still very poorly. She wont let us bring the children in to see her so I've had to stay home with them so hubby can go visiting. Not seen her in over a week now but hubby who generally tends to understate things is starting to say he's worried, which means he's very very worried.

We had to go back to her house to sort out a few last items ready for the sale of the house no one to take the boys while we went so we took them with us. it was the first time they had seen Nanny's house emptied out. Ever since my eldest keeps talking to Nanny as if she was here at home. He says goodnight to her empty bed and called up to her room to say goodbye as we left for school this morning.

I just don't know what to do. How do I try to help him through this he's only 3 and a half. When he first started asking questions we decided not to lie but make things as simple as possible. Don't know if that was the right thing after all. He's clearly worrying.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi - the macmillan site has some useful booklets for children and how to deal with this sort of thing.  i think it is in the publications section. it may be of some help. i had to log on (its called be macmillan or somethign!)  jackie

  • Try here there may be some books or info to downlaod to help explain to the children.

    www.clicsargent.org.uk/Publicationsresources

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    We have two grandchildren, aged five and eight now.  When there granddad was told that he was terminally ill, their parents decided that they would answer all questions truthfully.  It seems that children are good at absorbing just the information they need.  They know that graddad has some nasty cells, and that the doctors are trying to take them away.  It's amazing how resilient they are, they often say things inocently that we just can't help laughing at.  They are shiniing lights to us in our deepest despair.  The one thing we are all comitted to  is giving them some good memories of granddad.  I know your son is younger, but, if he can talk to you about his worries, and perhaps look at some of the books johnr recommends, it may help you both to deal with his fears.  Lots of love and good wishes to you all.  There are lots of friends here for you when you need support.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thanks everyone. I some publications on a website called winstonswish which has been really helpful.

    Last week on his way home from school he told me that one of his teachers had told him is nanny was starting to die. Having spoken to the school I am sure no one did but it was his way of asking me a question when he didn't know how. I've explained that yes nanny is starting to die and that if he has any questions he can ask. He knows that when someone dies you can't visit them or have them come to visit any more. He also knows that we believe that Nanny will go to heaven to be with God so she will be happy and cared for. He hasn't asked many direct questions but I lost an uncle earlier this year and he had asked why I was sad so I explained in the simplest of terms back then before it was relating to someone he knew well.

    I'm just questioning everything I do at the moment trying to figure out whats best for everyone and it's sooo hard.