She says she's had enough.

Hi,

I have been in your position with my MIL last year. Given your MIL's condition and prognosis it is understandable that she is wanting it to end. My husband completely refused to believe his mother wasn't going to recover (his brothers were the same too) and I had to explain over and over again that the outlook was bleak and that she had suffered enough. Perhaps your husband is having similar feelings?

Is there any hope you could find her a place in a hospice? I was battling to get my MIL into one but she died before I could find a place. In a hospice she will be treated with more dignity and visiting is generally open to more flexibility. As to encouraging visitors to see her where she is at present - given her embarrassment at not being able to make the commode, I imagine she would only want really close family to visit.

Best wishes,

KateG

Thanks Kate.

Hubby has no illusions as to the prognosis he knows not only that it is a matter of time but also that that time is likely to be short.

Hubby and I talked about the visitors idea after I posted on here and he said pretty much the same as you. Just close family from now on unless there is some improvement.

The plan is for MIL to come home to us rather than to a hospice and our local hospice can support us to care for her here because that is what she wants. She wants my hubby and her grandsons near for as long as she can.

Many thanks

Hayley

Hi Hayley, does MIL ring her buzzer when she needs help, sometimes nurses

do tend not to rush if thy think a patient

buzzes to often,[sorry to say this but its

a fact] When is MIL due to go home, if

she isn,t having treatment and its just a

case of getting her stronger why dont

you ask if its possible for them to give

you an idea when she can be discharged

In our last conversation we talked about

how MIL was being somewhat unreasonable

but on reflection i think you would feel

happier if she was home with you and

your family. MIL,s time could be short, and everyone has the right to die with

dignity, it may even make your relationship a little better  if MILs happier

being out of hospital and around her loved ones. Hope things get sorted out

soon as this has been a worry for you,

I dont know how you cope with the stress.

With Love Lucylee.xxxx

Actually she hardly ever rings the buzzer as she says she doesn't want to be a bother. It's been part of the problem at home. She wont ask for help until the situation is dire then she acts as if you have been neglecting her for not figuring it out on your own. Hey ho can't be helped.