Today is an odd one. Just over a week ago I thought I may be having surgery today, but in fact I’d put two and two together and made 7(th). I’d had a call telling me of my pre-operation appointment and speaking to the coordinator she’d said it was the soonest they could get me in and this was a 1830 appointment. The brain started to whir and I came to the conclusion that they want me in so quickly because of an imminent operation.
I had a meeting with the consultant which then told me the actual date for the big push was going to be 14th December. A week’s reprieve.
So instead of going under the knife today I’ve had a video fluoroscopy, a live x-ray of me swallowing barium laced drinks and food, checking out my swallow function. I’ll then have similar checks about 2 weeks after surgery and then in a years time to see how my swallow has changed (if at all). All part of the pathos trial.
I’m now in an odd place. Part of me is looking at the calendar like I would if I were going away on holiday next week, wishing the time away in excitement looking forward the break. It’s not that I’m looking forward to it, more that I just want things to start happening. I guess it’s like ripping off a plaster, it’s going to hurt, but it’s going to have to happen.
So I’m now on the run up to surgery.
Nervous? Absolutely!
Looking forward to it? Not really, but looking forward to moving on and getting on with life.
Staying positive? 100%. We’re in this for the long haul!!
Excited? Sort of. It’s not every day you get involved in ground breaking research. If I can help in minimising the impact of treatment of this type of cancer for the future then I’m happy to help, obviously I’d prefer never to have had the opportunity, but as I’m here, then why not!!
