I can’t believe it’s been three months since I finished radiotherapy. Three months of not having to trudge into hospital and three months of getting back to something that almost feels like normal. Thing is I’m not sure what normal will look like after this ordeal!!
There are things that are certain, I will always bear the scars of being a cancer patient, of having the ‘monkey on your back’ waiting for the next check up. The physical scars are here to stay. The one from the neck dissection where my lymph nodes were removed will be ever present (and one I wear with pride). If you looked in my mouth you’d take a bit of getting used to what you saw. My uvula (the dangly bit at the back of my mouth) no longer marks the centre of a symmetrical throat, more a piece of abstract art, only I or those close to me (and my surgeon) will ever get to see it, but again it’s a permanent reminder of what I’ve been through. To be fair my surgeon did a neat job and I’m forever grateful for the work all of the team who have treated me have put in to make me better. So to my ENT consultant, the oncologists and radiographers, speech and language therapists and dieticians, thank you!
There are many who criticise the NHS for the service they provide, but all I can say is that I have never seen anything that would make me say this. All I’ve seen are committed caring and passionate people who admittedly are stretched but never falter in the drive to provide life saving treatment to all that step through their doors. We have to count our blessing that we have such an amazing health service and thank those who devote their lives to serve in it.
As for me, I saw my consultant at the start of April and again this week. Apart from generally seeing how I am, the main reason for being there is them to peer into my mouth whilst holding my tongue down with a metal spatula (simple easy and comfortable) and then a small endoscope being pushed up my nose and down into my throat (very odd, uncomfortable and promotes a pretty good gag reflex). The visual examinations have shown no signs of anything re-appearing. At this stage, that’s all I can ask for. Next will be an MRI scan record a ‘baseline’ of my neck to allow comparison later if anything looks unusual in a future assessment.
As for recovery, I’m doing ok, I’m out and about and back into work (still not working to full capacity, but moving in the right direction). I’ve even done a few runs and managed to do a local fun run without keeling over!! My surgeon told me right from the start that they’re not doing anything to my legs so keeping active is a good remedy and aids recovery! So much so I’ve entered a half marathon in Sept, and thrown my hat in the ring for the London marathon next year!
I have a few niggles though. My shoulder has been stiff and I’ve lost some range of movement. I’ve been referred to a physio and am working with him to get that strength and movement back. Loss of taste is another niggle. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s amazing how it can affect your mood! I can say it’s getting better, or is it that I'm getting used to it. There are times when things start tasting like I remember but then as soon as I take that second bite, the flavour disappears. The final niggle for this update is the lack saliva production at the back of my mouth. Something I don’t notice in the day, but if I don’t use treatments for dry mouth overnight, I wake up with a tongue that’s like a piece of cardboard!!
These things truly are niggles and if this is all that I have to endure as a result of my cancer, than I’d take it any day of the week. Of course I’m ever hopeful that things improve and the niggles diminish.
All told I’m fitter and happier than I’ve been since the diagnosis. Long may this be the case.
