Worst Case Scenarios - Worrying one day at a time!
1 minute read time.
FormerMember
I am one of life's worriers. I know this and have rationalised it into a "I'm just always prepared for the worst" mantra that actually is a lame excuse. I have spent my life worrying about things completely beyond my control, from flying in a plane to making the right choices – I am the worst kind of control freak, so the last two and a bit weeks, and the discovery that my other half has cancer had placed a massive question mark over everything. And this is where I've got it wrong. Not only have I been worrying about the current situation, on what chemo or surgery they will recommend tomorrow, on the histology results, on how we will cope through the treatment, on what we will do after the treatment, on how we will cope in a new bladder free life, on what happens about work, on what happens if they get rid of it, on what happens if they don't ...... I think you can all get the picture now!
A told me to stop worrying this morning, followed by a "I'm not dead yet!" remark. And I know he is right. It's blindingly obvious. We must face the challenges as they arise, one at a time, and then we will only have to cope with things that ACTUALLY HAPPEN, rather than the ten million things I worry might happen. Sigh. So, any suggestions from the rest of you as to how to turn my brain to "off"? ;-)
A is my superhero. Despite the shocking news he smiles at the world, and always makes me laugh. He still "jumps in the puddles" of life wholeheartedly and I am a little jealous of that. Who knows what tomorrow may bring, I guess it's time to stop this worrying lark and get busy living!
T x
FormerMember
..what tomorrow will bring but today brought about ten tons of shopping delivery from the Tesco man!
I used to spend most of my waking life worrying about the cancer returning, and guess what, it returned in less than a year. They removed the latest tumour and now I just assume it will return some time and I'll deal with it when it does. Surprisingly this means I no longer worry or obsess about the "what if" scenarios. If it starts getting to much then I set aside half an hour once a week (Sunday morning suits me) and set a timer for half an hour. I think about worst case scenarios, every little pain and ache etc and scream/shout whatever. Then after half an hour I just get back on with my life. This means that whenever I start worrying about what might happen I "acknowledge" the thought and remind myself I'll think about it Sunday - this has helped me.
I don't know what will work for you, but perhaps these suggestions give you an idea of what might work for you.
Good luck with A's treatment and remember its as hard for the carer as the person with cancer
Oh I so smiled at this. I've always thought I leaned towards pessimism, you know glass half empty, but when I went for the result of my biopsy, I knew just knew. Friends told me not to be pessimistic and I said I wasn't I was being realistic - I had done my research I would rahter be prepared for bad news and get good than the other way round. I decided that this was going to be a long journey and there was no point me worry about things I couldn't change, that I would cfross each bridge as I approached it.
I've finished chemo and am waiting to start my radiotherapy - small delay on this which I had not planned for and which is a pain - but hey ho I can see light at the end of the tunnel. But am I still a worrier, a pessimist - no don't think I am - I think I'm realistic. I have a good prognosis but nothing in life is certain so I plan to make the most my life and enjoy being with friends and family.
Its easy to say cross the bridges and face the challenges as they come, but in a way thats the only way to do it. So I'm next in line after Andrew to jump in the puddles, have my pink/purple wellies at the ready :o)) so the bigger the better.
