In the pre-op lull

A and I are both in a bit of a semi surreal daydream at the moment, we know the surgery date but it is far enough away for us to feel pretty "normal" about life at the moment. We had friends round yesterday in the afternoon (truly wonderful friends who had spent the morning making homemade soup and brought flowers and cordial, bless them!) and we had a lovely few hours with them and laughed lots. Then we cleared out some stuff in the house and did some pottering and curled up on the sofa when the rain lashed outside to watch the West Wing. In the middle of this domestic bliss we had a text saying from a friend, offering support and saying that we must be DEVASTATED and that she didn't know how we could carry on ...... A and I looked at each other and smiled. We have never been the weepy wailing types, or even when we are either one of us would be hard pushed to keep it up for more than an hours stretch! Yes the news isn't great, but we are choosing NOT to see it as an axe hanging over our heads, but to really enjoy every single second of our time together. I'm not stupid, I know that when A goes in for his operation in 3 weeks it will be hard, and we both have many challenges on his path to recovery after the surgery, and given that chemo is not going to work on his aggressive and rare cancer, there is a strong possibility that after surgery it will do its best to come back .... but we're going to give it a big run for its money. We're in this together and I feel that this experience is drawing the strongest of unbreakable bonds between us. We are comrades, friends and lovers in the battle for his life ... and we're going to make it the best and longest life that we can. We were incredibly shocked at the news .... as everyone is, but you cannot live your life like that, or you'll miss all the small stuff and the everyday joys that make life worth living .... rubbing your cats tummy when he's just come in from the cold, drinking a wonderful glass of wine, reading a book that changes you, watching a great film, kicking leaves, laughing til your sides hurt and watching clouds laying on your back in soft grass on a summer's afternoon. Life is in the detail. Meanwhile, yesterday I cooked tofu. Tofu, one of the great bastions of the vegan diet, you can whip it, grill it, make it into mayonnaise, sausages, stir fry it, coat it in spices, roast it .... and know what? It still tastes like crap!!! Truly the work of the devil - A made a face like a two year old who has just been presented with a plate of brussel sprouts and then spat it out. I thought this might be an over reaction, tasted mine and spat it into my hand and went to the kitchen to quickly cook some organic prawns for our stir fry instead. Tofu - looks like foam, tastes like foam - never ever again. Hope all your weekends are peachy too. T x