As possibly the most impatient person in the world I am finding myself become particularly talented in the waiting game. Yes, there is much teeth grinding and nail biting in the process, but I have realised that if I start worrying about the "what ifs" I might not want to get out of bed in the morning!
And so we wait. There are high hopes A will get out of hospital today, at the moment we are waiting on his bladder being less distended - it has stretched in the last year as he has not been able to empty it properly. Once he reaches the magic less than 500ml mark he can start packing, so fingers crossed for today. It has been one week and one day since we went into the outpatients clinic for an ultrasound and cytoscopy (he didn't get to the second test before they decide to admit him). The last week has been peaks and troughs of emotion - disbelief, fear and anger amongst them but we are both in awe of the amazing staff and support staff at the hospital.
In other news, yesterday saw the arrival of a new essential - a juicer and blender, along with several vegetarian recipe books. I am sure many people may scoff at this unproven and perhaps drastic approach towards diet, but I see all of these steps, including A's chemo and surgery as commanders of different units in the war against cancer. Fruit, vegetables and vegetable proteins are like mini grenades that I hope will cause disruption and dissolution of the invasing cells.
It is funny how our friends are reacting to the overall news - there are those who are sympathetic (which to be honest is absolutely useless to us) - they seem to be frozen in fear and don't know what to say and you find yourself in horrible silences on the phone) and then there are the rest of friends and family who turn up with crates of wholefoods, fruit and organic nuts, turn up at the hospital and take A down for coffee and most of all make us both laugh! At the moment laughter comes easily - although it could just as easily become tears. The simplest gestures of kindness and love turn both of us into misty eyed emotional jelly at the moment.
A quote for today:
"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell." Lance Armstrong
FormerMember
Hi Tgirl, I did exactly the same. The juicer came out of storage immediately and I went to town with fresh fruit & veggies. I wholeheartedly believe that a proper diet has alot to say in all this. My "A" loved his meat too much and at the back of my brain I somehow think that it had something to do with his cancer. He has to have chemo treatment before his bladder is removed and he is really sailing through the treatment with little or no side effects so far - I honestly think that his new diet has alot to do with this. Good luck and very best wishes to you both..
Hi Trishka, I'm not sure if you read my other reply on a more recent post but I wanted to say a big thank you to you in particular, as when I was searching on the internet all I found initially was terrifying and confusing, and then I happened upon your blog ...... and ended up signing up to this site as a result! Meanwhle, I'm sure you're right about the meat link, and after only a few days of the new diet we both feel much more energised and I hoping this will have the positive effect you've noted on your "A"s chemo. We are lucky, as you and many others are several steps ahead of us in this battle and it feels good to be walking on a path we have already know from your experiences. Take care and know we are with you both every step.
