Sorry, I can't think what to call this one...!!!

Dear toothbrush,

All I can say is that it has been a very solemn day today, and I have had a few sherries and raised my glass to lone pube upon her departure (I too failed to uphold mothers standards and use a coaster) I have enjoyed a ciggie or two, and used a sparkling clean ashtray that was banished to the undersink cupboard many months ago :( I have fashioned my lady garden into what I consider a fitting tribute, in case I should be called upon by OK bathroom mag for a photoshoot, and am wearing black undergarments in memory. Please wish little My all the very best for her GC appt, and hope she will be swigging gin soonest!!

Happy brushing xx

Hey toothbrush, sorry I'm only just leaving my comment now.  I did do it last night, but I think the moderator has cottoned onto the fact that there is too much fun to be had here, and my earlier attempt vanished into the ether...

I don't usually touch Sherry, it's one of my addictions, and once I get started, I have difficuty stopping until I've sung at least 3 choruses of 'I am what I am...'  So thank you for your kind offer, but I feel I must decline on this sad occasion.

You did suggest that Little My would benefit from offers to smoke and drink on her behalf (not sure what she can possibly get out of that - but hey, it's her Little Pube we're talking about here).

So, just lighting one now.  No, not a cigarette, a cancer candle, in memory of Little Pube...  Keep up!  Anyway, my candles are real candles and capable of burning the house down, so Little My will have to be careful around it.  It won't win either of us any brownie points with the great space alien in the sky, but it smells nice.  No, it doesn't smell of burned hair (of any description), it gives off a gentle aroma of Bulls**t!

Now that I've set the scene, I can see Little Pube, bathed in white light, gently swaying in the breeze, to the music of 'Candle in the wind'.  No, I'm not going to tell you where the wind is coming from, ask your friend bum fluff!  So moved, I can see Elton now, sobbing and biting his pillow...

I would offer to drink a gin, but all I have in the house is a bottle of Scotch, so it will have to do.  It has a great deal more provenance.  Developed by my ancestors, who until that point lived on a diet of porridge and haggis (when they could catch it!).  Uisge beatha, water of life, a fitting tribute to Little Pube...

Dont' be sad for Little Pube, remember her as she would like to be remembered, surrounded by her family and friends, encased in M&S's best!

RIP Little Pube...

Ann x

Dear Pixie, what a fitting tribute that was... your mum would be proud of the effort!

Sunny, (you did it all...and it did make me laugh.. I  love you, naughty girl...)

Thanks for keeping off the sherry- saved us all there! I drank far too much whiskey as a teenager in Scotland so can't bear the stuff now, hence the gin, but going back to my true roots.. water of life is what I think we all need, so Slange,(sp?)  Skal, and bottoms up! Wherever we are from, here's to life! little Pube would be proud of us all....

I think we have scared all the others off... oh dear...

By the way, did you all know its steviec's birthday today? (Wednesday) happy birthday steve, if you get here...

Little My xxx

Such sadness, I cant light up for you as Ive ran out of fags, I cant raise a glass of sherry to you as I polished it off last week but I just want you to know I will always think of you (and check toilet seat for a sign) from this day forward.

Nothing scares me Little My, ...only a.f.c. of a dog getting on my lap :)

Shaz ((((XX))))

Thanks for the kind words, Shaz.... and I knew you weren't scared of anything and would get here eventually!! I nnow, too busy out the back with the fags and sherry....

wonder if she will send me a message from beyond.. ha ha

Going to the shops...want me to stock up for you?

xxx