Toothbrush here again. I’m afraid Little My is a bit of a gibbering wreck tonight and incapable of writing anything. She wasn't going to write anything, but then asked me to send a brief report on her behalf....
So, to start, here is a rendition of this afternoon’s visit:
Knock knock on Little My’s door....
There is a man in a shiny pin striped suit with very shiny shoes and an Italian handcrafted leather briefcase...
Oh Hello, You look familiar... Do I know you?
Yes, we’ve met many times before... I’m Mr. Sod’s Law
Oh, Not you again, what do you want this time?
The little pixie told me you are being greedy again...
Me? Oh yeah, so I am.... but don't want too really and aren’t we all? And Sunny and Steve say it’s ok and we deserve a bit of greed... (hey that sounds like a band.... a bit like Shaz and Dave do... sorry sidetrack there... back to story...) and Sunny was going to sacrifice a goat for me....
Goat? Hahaha nothing works on me.... Rummages in briefcase... Here’s your Sod’s law for today...hands parchment with red seal etc and you have to at least give him credit for being classy...
Would say thanks, but... Oh bye then...
Little My shuts door and opens parchment...
“The house sale will go through while you are in Sweden... and P will have to do it all on his own”
Thanks, Mr Sod’s Law.... bl**dy nice one!!!!
Toothbrush here again... so you might think she is a bit preoccupied with this, and she will be soon enough, but right now something else is also making her a gibbering wreck... I know it’s not a pretty sight, and not for the faint hearted, and some have been known never to recover from the sight... but let’s have a peep at what is going on in her head as we speak... .
Prize, creak groan.... ooh here, opened up.... have a peek....
... tomorrow is my first post treatment check up... and I am stupidly nervous about it... really stupidly nervous... My head can rationalise all it likes about it that no big news will come, just a first feel for any tumour still there or not (and rolos and the like) and hey, you get to see GC’s pretty face again and actually the coffee is quite nice there and the blood lady is nice and you haven’t seen her in a while... and even then it won’t mean a lot either way and it’s not as if he is going to say Oh its gone, congratulations, enjoy your life, cos cancer doesn’t work like that and I have got 5 years of this even if all is ok each time so better get used to it and I’ll just have to wait another month for the scan before they can really say anything... whichever way it is going... and you’ll be ok even if it is bad news which it won’t be tomorrow cos its too early to say.....
but my stomach is tying itself in knots and I can’t breathe properly and my legs are pacing around and I can’t keep up with any of them and I can’t distract myself no matter what I try and I can’t eat and can’t think and keep checking my list of quesitons and then thinking they are silly and I shouldn't ask them and my god, I wish I still smoked and .... I guess we all do this but aarrggghhhh!!!!!
I know worrying doesn’t do any good and tomorrow I will wonder why I wasted all that time worrying like I always do every single bl**dy time and why won't I ever learn!?! and whatever will be will be and I’ll deal with it and find something funny in it too cos I always do but I just wish someone would tell my body........ and....
Phew, I think that’s enough... or you will not recover... better shut it quick.... creak, groan... slam!! Phew, hope you are ok... bit scary I know...
I think later on tonight she will be off to stitch that tabby merkin and eat nearly a whole packet of rolos in preparation. In the meantime, I understand that peeking inside Little My’s head can be quite a traumatising event so, despite all my reservations, the bar will be open for double’s tonight and therapy is on hand for those who need it out the back....
That was Toothbrush reporting. Goodnight.
Hoping Sunny's chemo went ok today xxx
Little Myxxx
