So that Invitation comes through the post again: Wear a Gown, Don’t eat beforehand, no jewellery, will be given pints to drink when get there.
Hoorah! Not had that invite since August, so Little My or Cinderella as she is now known in certain quarters, put on her ballgown and plastic tiara and I drove off in her pumkin carriage for her cocktail party and hopefully dinner cos it’s a long time with no food….
Off she goes on the long journey to nice little cancer hospital in the far away land that takes longer to get to than the things you have to do an hour before... you have to drink a pint one hour before your scan(and sadly not beer it says) so LM thinkst oh I'll leave a bit early and stop on the way rather than trying to drink in the car. No traffic so just getting near when she can see text sitting there whistling at her. At traffic lights so look and its P saying ring me they cancelled your appointment!!!
Eeeek! Or more accurately, stomach goes thump and cold feeling and
'Oh for fecks sake' except not so polite.
My heart sinks and all kinds of panics and effing and blinding is going on and I am nearly there, so pull in layby and phone him. The machine is broken so they said not to bother coming in as they don’t want you to come all that long way for nothing.. Haha, when you live that far away you have to leave a long time in advance durrr.I am almost there, just round the corner!! Hang on thinks LM, I am having a CT and MRI they both can’t be broken. I say well, I might as well call in and ask what is happening now. P phones them back to tell them I am there and coming in to rearrange appointment.
So Cinderella is growling her way round and round the car park getting so cross as you get all geared up for it and this week is busy and her appointment with GC is next week and she doesn’t want to have that without the scans and results and and and aarrggghhh!
So, no parking space of course and wishing she had a pumpkin that could be turned into a mouse or Sleipnir or something... end up round the back with RT dept and that brings back a few odd memories of going in that way… and off to find scan place. Walked through the consultant bit and nurse shouts oooh hello LM how you doing? Are we seeing you today? No, just scans, back a week on Friday says LM. See you then says Nurse. Blimey. Since when did I become so well known at a cancer hospital that I can wander through and nurses know my name???
Oooh hello says RT woman, long time no see, how you doing?
Blimey….
Get to X Ray dept.
Oooooh sorry they say, we didn’t realise you have a CT booked as well. We can do that one so good job you came in. Then another woman comes out and says it all again, and another one! . Engineer is on his way. I’d rather wait if possible says LM. We can do you on Friday morning otherwise they say. Sigh. I have lessons and things booked and grrrrr.
Go off to drink my pint of coffee/water and come back for scan.
Oooh Hello LM shouts the Vampire blood woman…
Blimey…
Slosh my way back there with my pints wishing I could go to the loo.
In the gown which is not floor length chiffon, but faded blue, rather fetching slit right up the back.. daring I guess....
. Any chance you might be pregnant?
After what you did to me? Says LM fat chance…
Wasn’t me personally, says nurse.
Fair point says LM. Still no.
Do you mind if I put a needle in your arm?
Hahaaaahahaaaaaa
Everyone laughs when I say that says nurse…
Can't imagine why...
I guess I don’t have any choice do I? Stab ouch wiggle- she’s pretty good and finds my hiding feeble vein without too much trouble. More water to drink… gulp glug glug glug swill swill swish….
Off to the donut. Canula is really sore in arm resting on pillow with arms above my head… Hold your breath etc. They have pictures of a green smily face and a red one holding its breath. They always make me want to laugh which doesn’t help when you have to hold your breath and its always at the wrong moment just as you are breathing out etc.
. Dye injected. It hurt and I felt a bit weird and really really hot this time, fiery hot. And the usual pee yourself feeling… I hate that one. Envious I didn’t get cod liver oil on my nips or Tupperware containers (ask JuliaF) just strapped my arse in place haha.
So, nurse comes back in and says all over and they fixed the MRI and as everyone has been cancelled you can go straight through to it, HOOOOOORAH!!! so wander down corridor in my gown carrying my clothes…. Flashing my arse to all and sundry as I go.
Have you got a spade embedded in your eye?
Have you got surgical implements left in you? Have you blah blah stuff…. Oh sorry, I forgot about that railing embedded in my skull…. I always wonder what happens if you do have a pair of forceps or something left inside you… do you stick to the side of the tube I wonder… or does it pull it out? Ouch.
Are you pregnant? What Again? Already? That was quick work even for me and the engineer wasn’t that handsome…
No, you fried my ovaries remember? And the cubicle was full of warped people with bins and meatballs so no chance of anything fun happening between the donut thingy and tube of doom thingy was there?
Ok, MRI I lie down and my throat is tickling and scatchy and I think I am going to cough all the way through this…. Damn.
DUDUNG CLANK BLABG BUZZ BUZZ DUNG DONG DONG err errr errrr etc. I find it quite hypnotic and almost fall asleep- have to close my eyes cos I am a tad claustrophobic…
Errr ERRRR DUN DUNNNNG DUNG DONG DNNNNGNNGGG DONG DE DONG DE DUNG CLANG…..
30 mins later and out blinking in the sunlight…
Cough wheeze… hmmm I wonder if that was the dye? Says LM.
Nurse gets all panicky and asks if I can swallow ok? I try… hmmm feels a bit tight like when you’ve eaten potato and it gets stuck… bit wheezy and tickly. She makes me sit down and says you are reacting to the dye.
Oh its probably just a bit of dust or something says LM.
I’m putting it on your record she says. You won’t get that again.
Eeek maybe that is a bad thing and I need the dye? Oh no… it wasn’t much says LM probably nowt… but she is scowling and says she can see my breathing is a bit odd so I have to sit and wait for a bit to check I am still breathing and she says take an antihistamine. Hmmm that was rather scary!!!!! And she was doing all of this in front of the next person waiting who was going paler by the minute.!!
So wait for a bit and she wanders past every so often to see if I am breathing and I am still breathing so off I go and stop at pharmacy and get an antihistamine and go home. Actually, I don’t go home, I go back to school.
Of course everyone thinks you have a scan and get the results there and then so have to explain to everyone that I don’t and not to next week and am feeling pretty groggy by now.
Had to go to a meeting about next year and Cow pat was being such a bulldozer cow that I even started to feel sorry for NH!!!!!!!!!!! I have to take a deep deep breath and let her hang herself I think as I can see dissent in the troops already. Mrs NH didn’t even turn up haha.
I didn’t tell P about the reaction to the contrast dye as I thought he would worry needlessly, but when I get home after meeting, he said Oh the nurse phoned to see if you were ok as apparently you had a reaction…..?????!!!!! Err, well Oh it was nothing... cough, shuffle feet…. Ahem…. Luckily he was distracted by something odd he was reading on the interweb device he has just discovered so didn’t react haha see what happened there?
Oh and Scary nurse yesterday said no swimming yet until scab has fallen off NOT picked off, but fallen off and it is healed underneath. She left me with a pile of dressings to do myself and don’t have to see her unless I am still having to do them when I run out. Better not be, I can tell you!! I am going to defy her tomorrow and go for a swim cos bloody hell I need one after today. Half term next week and I am off to see my boy for a few days to distract me from the nerves of GC day…
Thank you to my lovely friends on here for making me smile and sending me hugs and all that stuff as I don’t get much from family or friends (nothing from family at all which does pee me off a bit sometimes that my brother and ‘parents’ don’t wish me luck or ask how I got on) So, thank you…. Bernard the St Bernard is trawling the blog looking for stragglers with Pimms today as it’s a nice sunny day. And there are choc ices for those that got to the end…
Now I am tired. I survived the day and now my fate is sealed which is an odd one as I get so nervous about them and the cannulas and tubes and being in a cancer hospital remembering you are not well somehow when you think you are and that perhaps it is serious or you woulnd’t be doing it etc
But now I have had the scan, there is nothing I can do or change now, so in a weird way it is liberating… My fate is sealed and nothing I can do about it now, so might as well enjoy a bit of life eh?
A week on Friday and I get my fortune told. Better be a good one or I might just do a Rumplestilskin…..
xxxxx
