25th may 2013 - 28th may 2013
Its a bank holiday weekend and the sun is beaming through the ward, Its to nice a day I think to myself for Mum to be stuck inside. I consider taking her out into the grounds to get some air and hopefully lift her spirits but mum is still on oxygen full time so we are stuck in the ward as a portable oxygen and drip are hard to come by.
Dawn (my Sister) and I are now doing split shifts between us due to the fact an incompetent nurse yanked out Mums catherter still fully inflated when getting her up and toileted despite my mum warning her the catheter was snagged on her zimmer frame. We decide between us that we will get mum up in the morning,wash and dress her and toilet her throughout the day then we'd also wash and dress her and put her to bed from that day on.
Mum pends the whole bank holiday getting more determined she is going to leave the hospital as shes fed up being in there. We have to persuade her she isnt well enough to go home yet. Mum has asked my sister to bring her jewellry up to the hospital as she needs to sort out.
Over the next few days my mum tells me she has sorted all her jewellry into envelopes with names on and has tells us what she wants her funeral to be like . even down to the colour for the flowers and the songs she wants playing. My Mum is amazing to me anyway but to do all this so everything is organised before needed shows incredible strength and courage to me. But she sill not talk about the cancer apart from now and then blurting out something out of the blue then saying thats it, I dont want to talk about it any more.She doesnt want any macmillan help either so my sister and I are left with all this stuff in our heads with no where to go for help,no one to answer our questions or allay our fears, Its hard to get time together where we can talk about things like arrangements for later down the line or how we are going to cope without our dear Mum.
