1st june 2013
The weekend was a lovely one. My Mums brothers and sisters came to see her. My Mum is staying with my sister at present as she has the room to make a bedroom downstairs so she cooked a lovely dinner for us all. Mum was laughing for the first time in nearly two week as we all sat in dawns garden basking in the glorious sunshine that had decided to show up just for mum.
My aunties and uncles were asking me how mums doing and do they know how long she has left to which I replied we wont know until wednesday at the earliest which cancer it is and how aggressive it is but I do say mums annoyed about being ill as it should be her time now and its being snatched away from her.
Sunday 2nd June 2013
Toady we were going over to spend some time with mum and dawn and I needed to go and visit Dads grave and put some flowers on there. I normally go once a week but these past two weeks I found it hard to visit him. I was angry that Dad was going to take Mum from us so soon. I know it sounds daft but thats the way it felt. I stood by the grave and begged him to let mum stay with us as we werent ready to be without her yet. I said just please dont let mum suffer she doesnt deserve to be in pain. I was scared to visit Dad as it is a double plot with a double heart headstone on it. the side where my Dad is rested has his inscription and the other side is blank ready for when mum passes away. As I stood there all I could see was my mums name on the blank side. It was awful and something I wiill never get out of my head. I buried my head into my husbands chest and had a cry. I wanted to scream and shout about how cruel life was being and how mum should be enjoying her life with no ties for the first time in decades not facing death.
