So sad

Hi Mags, what you feel is completely understandable. It’s crap news but you are in charge of where this journey takes you. If you are tired and satisfied you have had enough and feel a closure then that is your choice but if you are scared and concerned about your family maybe you have more to give and receive? I’m at an early stage of stomach cancer (op -total gastrectomy in 4 days) and I’m a nurse. I have witnessed patients who found strength from themselves or family/friends and moved forward in their journey with many great days and defied  tthe poor prognosis. I watched them falter, fall and get up again. A PICC line is a great invention that you should not be afraid about. It makes it much easier for access for chemotherapy/drugs that prevent lots of needles and discomfort from being used as a pin cushion and it is a superior access point. You will hardly know you have it and can carry on normal daily life with it. 
if you find a little strength or hope, get up and face another day with friends and family that love and support you. Stay connected to others in a similar position and see what positive advice they can give. Even the participants in this community are on the adventure with you and I’m sure most would agree that there are days when it feels a heavy burden but with pain management, family, friends, animals etc another day is precious to them as well as us. Thinking of you. Milly.

Dear Milly,

Thank you for taking the time to message me. Your message has given me something to think about and your words are very wise. Thank you also for the information on the picc line.

Im sorry you have been diagnosed too but you sound such a positive person which I hope helps pull you through.

Thank you again Milly.

Hi Mags, I have just joined this site to try to find, well, answers?, solace from people who understand? I'm not actually sure but your post popped up in front of me and I wanted to reach out to you.  I had my thoracic surgery in March and am at the start of chemo (well I had 1 session end of April of Vinorelbine & Cisplatin that put me in hospital for 9 days, jesus it was brutal!) oncology gave me the option of stopping but Im gonna try again with a different combo, starting this week. My cancer has spread to lymph nodes so its not clear yet what my prognosis is yet.  I had a picc line whilst in for surgery, seriously brilliant invention allowing bloods to be taken, drugs to be given all without the incessant digging about for a vein in your arm/hand/foot!  Have oncology given you all the information you need to make an informed choice? Im only 57 and at this point have a lot of fight, even though some days it wanes a bit & I cant put one step in front of the other.  I have discussed the possibility of dying from this with my husband and know the devastation it causes to family which we try to shield them from.  I would echo the comments from MillyE, give your family and close friends the opportunity to support you, hold your hand, be involved in the journey, Im sure both you and they will gain strength from it, most importantly be open and talk about how you feel, to them, to us, to Macmillan - anyone that can give you the strength you need.  I send you much love and a bloody big virtual wrap round hug xxx

Dear SquarePants,

Thank you so much for replying to me and sharing what you have been through. I have just turned 60 and I have had the info from oncology about the side effects that happen to some people.

My family and I have discussed my demise which was so hard and they understand any decision I might end up taking. I wish I was braver. I’m scared of the side effects.

Thank you again for your wise words and a big hug back to you.

Mags123

Sending love to you. Its such a horrid journey. Have you looked at cancer active for tips on what you might be able to do to help?I really hope you find the strength you need when you feel so tired.