It is almost 8 weeks since my husband David passed away with Mesothelioma,he was only 59 yrs old.He was ill for only 6months.He never had chemo (dont know why).I nursed him to the very end,and I am so glad I done that.
I must say that his GP and Hospice Nurse,and the local nurses where really great,they all offered great and much needed support to me and David.But nothing can perpare you for the end,but you cope .
FormerMember
Duncan thank you,its so nice that complete strangers are so kind and for the support
susan0958 I am so sorry for your lost of your husband David.How are you coping?I been on cancerback up site since David become ill in Oct 2008 trying to find out about Mesothelioma and made some freinds who also are going through the same,4 have died since,I always told David about this site and he always to say go and spend an hour on the computer,I did find it helped talking to people who are going through this nightmare (thats what I called it).The thing that really hurts is that we became so very close and it was like being in love all over again,it caused a few problems with the hospice nurses who use to visit every day,and with Davids GP,because he would not go into hospital or to the hospice for care,David wanted me to look after him 100% which I did gladley,and it gave us time together.
Susan, I fully understand what you say. However, I have never tried to block Ray out of my mind. I think about him every single day. Everything I do, I do with him by my side. I have a big A4 size picture of him in a frame which I look at every day. In fact I talk to the picture as if I am talking to him. We are Yorkshire people and since his funeral, I have kept white roses(being the symbol for Yorkshire) by the picture. He was my soul mate and we were deeply in love and in tune with each other. That is why I am so lost without him. Yes, the nights are the worst time but usually when I am sat alone in my living room. Please don't worry about the hospice nurses etc. they would have understood how you both felt. I understand what you mean though. We had district nurses coming in making suggestions which we almost always rejected. They were only trying to help but we wanted to do it ourselves. It is upsetting and distressing at times to talk about the ones we love but it is necessary to help us to heal. My family have no choice but to talk about Ray because I do it all the time, painful though it may be at times. He was a major part of our lives and will remain so as long as I am still here.
We all have our own way of dealing with grief though and what works for one person does not necessarily work for another.
Take care love and hope the healing process starts soon. (I am still waiting) p.s. I have joined the group 'bereaved friends'. love Tricia
