Penny - 5 June 2013My hubbie, Simon and I were steeling ourselves to run the gauntlet from our car to the entrance of our local Waitrose parking lot. It was Friday afternoon and the weekend weather was promising. I was finishing the shopping for a charity party I cater every year for 40 people at my polo club. It takes a fair bit of preparation and I was focused on the task. Mid Volvo-dodge Simon stopped dead and grabbed my arm. He was white as a sheet and staring at his phone. “It’s Ben!”
You see, Ben is one of the surgeons that saved Simon’s life a year ago. Simon had had his fourth scan since the surgery a week before and we were due to see Ben in two weeks time. We had made it to the ‘all clear’ one-year anniversary a couple years earlier and on that occasion we were given the soul-crushing news that the cancer was back. We just stood there in the parking lot. “Go ahead,” I choked.
He read, “I’m away at the moment so hope you don’t mind an email. Scan result came in today….”. The world stopped moving. “….all looks clear with no evidence of anything new or recurring – great news obviously! Cancer markers are not only normal but reassuringly low. Have a glass of champagne and we’ll catch up in a couple weeks.” Did I hear the word ‘normal?’ Yeah, I thought I did.
The world started again. People stared at us while I blubbed my way through the aisles with people staring at me probably wondering why I found the special on strawberries so moving.
We made our way to the checkout to be greeted by a refreshingly cheerful lady called Melanie. She cheekily instructed us to get a move on as she was late to finish her shift and would we mind. We had a few more giggles and I couldn’t help another wee blub. As I wiped my eyes I explained our good news.
Still smiling, Melanie said that her husband had suffered another in a series of stokes and she was looking forward to getting home to him. I wanted to cry again but this time for her. We understood each other. We wished each other well and we went on our way.
Carers are brave people. They have to be. Remaining positive isn’t a choice – it’s a kind of force field that preserves and gives. It’s good medicine too but be careful when you scratch the surface. One can never be sure how fragile the person behind the smile is. Most of the time I don’t think they know either. I sure didn’t.
And when you ask, “How are you?”, don’t be surprised when the response is a cheerful, “I’m just fine!”
The charity polo picnic was a jolly fun day. The sun was out, everyone had a great time and I even got to present the prizes yet throughout the day wondered if any of our guests were as brave as Melanie.
Penny
