.........The time has come at this stage in training to think about applying for jobs. One good thing is that I have an interview to do bank healthcare work at the hospital so can get some money coming in. This is a huge thing because somehow and it no-one else's fault but my own I find myself approaching the grand age of 40 and I have never had a driving lesson!
Ok so there are so many variables, the major one of course is mum who is very uncomfortable and tired now. If she deterioates further will I be able to commit to working when I need to be looking after her and dad? If her time comes will I even be able to finish the course? Do I want to work close to home at the hospital where I have done my training and where mum has received all treatment or is to full of memories of hard times round every corner? Or do I want to take the chance of a preceptorship in my dream area of ED? Am I setting my sites too high in this current climate by going for that highly competative area when I could settle for another possition?
No one can make these decisions for me I guess I am just trying to work them through in my own mind. I know I am very lucky in so many respects I have a fantastic husband and family who are behind me 110%. It's just hard to look to the future when you feel like you are wading through mud most days to get by.
