In the last 8 days I have had a rollercoaster of emotions. Last Sunday I visited my best friend, who lives some distance from me, when I left I burst in to tears. Not because I hadn't had a good tome - indeed it was a lovely visit as always - I cried because I saw how normal their lives were and realised how much my life had changed.
On Monday I saw my doctor for a review of my case. I became very upset and she held my hand and reassured me. She also signed me off for 6 months. That seems such a long time.
Monday night my husband was feeling really down. I have been on the other side with my previous husband’s cancer, so I know how hard it is for the partner of a someone living with cancer. We held one another and talked.
Tuesday I had a conversation with Carol which greatly helped me. (Thank you) Also thank you to Macmillan for providing this service and thank you to everyone who actively supports me and others. It’s reassuring to know there is an army of support to tap into when needed. I hope that doesn’t sound to gushing – it is sincerely meant.
Wednesday my sister and I collected my wig. I had my hair cut short and decided to wear the wig, which matched my original length, when my husband came to pick me up. I thought he wouldn’t notice as he didn’t know I going to have my hair cut. He noticed straight away. 10 out of 10.
In the evening I finally got around to reading the blurb the hospital gave me. Scary stuff especially the risk of having low white cell counts and catching colds, flu etc...
Thursday – I hunted the house high and low for thermometers – found two. Cleaned, scrub and polished all surfaces. Considered re-homing cats for less than 1 second – I could never do that. Cancelled planned evening meal at restaurant with 12 work friends as some were coming down with colds - too risky this close to my first treatment.
My hands were drying out and starting to crack from all the hand gel I had been using and an untimely outbreak of thrush in my mouth (from using asthma inhalers) require medical intervention . A quick call to my GP secretary resulted in 2 doctors phoning me at home. (Just like a London Red Buses - you wait ages for one and then 2 turn up.) A mad dash to surgery & boots to pick up the prescription – copious amounts of yet more hand gel applied. Exhausted!
Friday - spoke to Cancer Key working - she reassured my about how the hospital will be able to treat me if I get an infection. Much relief:)
Delivery man just call - I have forgotten that I had ordered 3 fruit trees, rhubarb and gooseberry bushes before this started - they are going to be delivered this afternoon. What I’m going to do with them I just don't know.
