My living with rectal cancer journey began last July 2024 following a colonoscopy.
The prognosis by Consultant surgeon was positive in that the tumour near anus could be removed and a stoma fitted after radio/chemo therapy treatment to shrink the tumour to an operable size. He did say that this treatment might remove the tumour but thought that unlikely so best to assume surgery would be necessary.
At age 78 (now approaching 79) the operation and living with a stoma thereafter was something I did not relish and it did occupy my mind, but I tried to set that eventuality aside as I undertook radio/chemotherapy treatment the latter by tablet to help shrink the tumour.
I was surprised to hear at first meeting with Oncologist in October prior to the radio/chemo sessions that lasted 5 weeks from 4th of November to 6 December that there was an additional Chemotherapy planned after I had recovered from the Radio/Chemotherapy sessions. I was just told to wait until that happened.
At this point I should add I was treated by angels at The Beatson Centre in Monklands for which I was most grateful at the time and even more so since. I will speak more of "angels" here and in my main blog on down to earth spirituality.
I was explained to me by a stand in oncologist that I was to receive IV chemo at the start of 4 three weekly sessions with a week to recover between during which I was to take much stronger Chemo tablets ( Capecitabine)
At a second meeting with a truly angelic consultant I was told the good news was that my hair was unlikely to fall out. I was also told of the likely side effects, nausea, diarrhoea, neurotherapy in hands and feet lack of energy along with medicines to take to counter the side effects.
During the 3 weeks that followed my mindfulness came to the fore as I determined to finish the three week session although I was experiencing all the side effects with little relief and I lost weight. I was unable to attend the first check up meeting before starting session two.
When I did make it apparently my appearance to the angelic consultant before even questioning me was that I should have no more IV chemo. My answers to her questions on side effects just confirmed and as she said we are here to cure you not kill you. CT and MRIS scans and a sigmoidoscopy were set up to check how effective the treatment had been in shrinking the tumour.
I just got good news on Friday after a series of checks and scans that there was no evidence of cancer in the treated area or bladder or any other spread.
I'm still not out of the woods totally because the original scans in July Aug 2024 identified what has been identified as a urachal remnant attached to the dome of my bladder. It would require surgery to get a biopsy that removes a part of my bladder which is cancer free , but since there is to be no stoma operation during which that biopsy could be done it was agreed that issue will be part of the regular monitoring check up process, I decided I will deal with that mindfully in the same way I dealt with living with rectal cancer which I hope to share on the blog itself.
That will involves quite a bit of spiritually as well as practical observations that would best be served on an individual blog that I have set up. Although rectal cancer is what brought me here It is possible that some of what helped me will be helpful in mindfulness terms to those with different types of cancer.
I was told from the outset by many who knew me that my positive attitude and spirit would help me on my journey and I think it has played a part.
We all have our own experiences and what helped me is not necessarily going to help others, but I think that it is in sharing we stand a better chance of coming to terms with a greater reality that exists outside each of our many minds and I hope folk will indulge me as I let my experience unfold on the blog.
During my own life journey I encountered many resources that helped me take the spiritual path.
One I will draw on is from a Book called The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran a Lebanese Christian.
When asked about Pain by a woman as he travelled on his journey the prophet replied
"Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding"
To me all of us here are on that painful journey which can change our understanding of life, whatever our life experience has been so far.
I hope in sharing my experience of feeling of being loved through the good times and the bad might help others cope as well as it did me as we each face our own fear filled future
