Grieving Cancer.
In a previous blog I mentioned The Beginning Experience, an organisation setup to help folk negotiate their way through the grief that follows the loss of a loved one through bereavement or divorce. ( Beginning Experience Great Britain and Ireland )
Having participated as a beneficiary then weekend facilitator on a B.E team, where an understanding of the grief process was key, it has been my observation that grief is a natural response to any major loss in our life and that cancer can be viewed from that perspective as it involves a loss of the health we enjoyed up to hearing that we had cancer.
In that context I thought it worthwhile writing about the grief process in the hope it helps others negotiate the grief journey that is the natural response to the significant loss of our sense of well being or being well.
The Grief Process is based on The Kübler-Ross model, or the "five stages of grief," that outlines a series of emotional responses to loss, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While helpful for understanding common reactions to loss, it's important to remember that these stages are not necessarily linear or universally experienced by everyone.
Here's a more detailed look at each stage:
This initial stage often involves disbelief and a refusal to accept the reality of the loss.
As the reality of the loss begins to sink in, anger may arise towards the situation, the person who died, or even oneself.
Individuals may try to make deals or promises in order to change the outcome or reverse the loss.
A period of deep sadness and despair as the individual grapples with the full impact of the loss.
This stage doesn't necessarily mean happiness or an end to sadness, but rather an acknowledgment of the loss and a move towards adapting to a new reality.
The five stages are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other. You might hear people say things like ‘Oh I’ve moved on from denial and now I think I’m entering the angry stage’. But this isn’t often the case.
In fact Kübler-Ross, in her writing, makes it clear that the stages are non-linear – people can experience these aspects of grief at different times and they do not happen in one particular order. You might not experience all of the stages, and you might find feelings are quite different with different bereavements.
The reason for presenting this information as a resource here is that it might help readers better understand the feelings that arise as they undergo cancer treatment to know that their feelings are both natural and normal.
In mindfulness terms I think that is important to know this as both a recipient of treatment and for those close to us that are affected by our loss which is a loss of a different kind to their wellbeing too.
