Back again. I had my pre op earlier. Over at the smaller, older, easier to get lost in hospital. I met another absolutely wonderful nurse. NHS breast cancer staff seem to be truly the loveliest people ever!!! The info pack i came away with is amazing!!! I wish i'd has this and the same staff when i had emergency caesareans 20ish years ago. Although waiting on pesky results i feel in control, calm and pretty much ready for the op next month. I just need a date.
My hubby described my occasional mood as deflated. He says i go a bit quieter and as if i've left being present for a while. After 24 years he knows me so well. These aren't wobbles, just times when i'm not worrying about anything particular just allowing the dark cloud over for a bit as being happy, positive me is not always as easy as usual. I'm not going to worry about worsening scenarios other than i will definitely have a wig if i need chemo. I found a lump about 18 years ago that was dismissed as a lymph node very quickly. I was petrified then, my girls were only little but now i'm calmer. I'm older!!! 51, a more mellowed me. No point in getting in a state when all is early and looking uninvasive. I discuss it with my fox terrier a lot. He's a good listener and won't worry as much as my hubby or dream team of friends. The smell of him relaxes me. (Dog owners will understand.) We're off to the beach now. (I heard about a helpful app, i will check it out and talk about it tomorrow.)
