all of a sudden my family has been effected by cancer. My mum told us yesterday, i think i am still in shock. So i can still be quite sensible about it all.
Im ok if i think, well she just having a kidney out. Its the 'cancer' label.
Some people on here are so strong and are dealing with what seems to me to be worse types of cancer.
Is it normal for me to be poo-pooing kidney cancer?
Am i in some kind of deniel?
I am also concerned about dealing with the big pink elephant in the room at dinner time etc.
I think you are still going through the 'shock' stage of the cancer diagnosis. Your mum is probably scared stiff too but is playing it down to reassure you. Initially, there's a lot of information to take in, so make sure someone goes with her to appointments. You sound like a lovely daughter and I'm sure you'll be strong for your mum. Give her lots of hugs and, when she needs it, help around the house.
Hi there.....It is only natural that you are feeling like this, it is such a shock and it takes time to sink in! Some of us are luckier than others as to what we are going through or have been through but we are all here for each other, so on behalf of all a big warm welcome to you, All i can say to you is please listen to your Mums' words and read her body language...as a family member you know her so well and if you really look will be able to guage how she is. Most importantly just be there for her. Keep posting here as we would love to show you support
I'm sorry to hear about your mum but now they know what is wrong then she can have her treatment. I am a mum who was recently diagnosed and my first instinct (like any other mum) was to protect my family and play down how I was feeling. Lorna's advice is right. You know your mum and her body language will give away how she's really feeling. As for the elephant in the room, why not bring up the diagnosis in general conversation so as to bring it out into the open? It will be very brave of you but it may be that everyone's worried about upsetting someone when in fact people may be desperate to talk? Take your lead from your mum, it can be a lonely place if people are reluctant to talk.
Let her know how much you love her and help her in practical ways that she will appreciate. At the moment I have my 24yr old and 18 yr old daughters here and they have taken over the cooking/washing/tidying up and feeding the cat which allows me to rest and recover from my ops. It also gives us special time together which we wouldn't normally have as one lives in Lincoln and the other is at Uni in Cardiff!
This site is a wonderful place to come and vent your feelings and ask questions so please visit often. Sending you a big hug and look forward to seeing you around.
It has now been nearly two months since I was diagnosed with a tumour, not the same kind as your mother but a malignant tumour nontheless.
I have had one operation and am awaiting a second one next week.
It is only just starting to hit me that I have had/ may still have Cancer. I have been in a bubble since finding the lump and I believe that this is the minds way of being able to cope. Certain things shut down whilst others work overtime in protection mode.
This is normal and it will pass, probably to be replaced by other emotions.
Incidentally, when my mother was diagnosed with Cancer, I went into complete panic mode!
I am now finding talking to others hugely beneficia. This site is wonderful.
things are going much better, i think we are all coming to terms with it. my sister had a rocky week at work, ive been ok just struggled abit to keep focus. My dad seems abit down in the dumps but has organised a night out for us tomorrow for my mum's 50th on friday. so he is not too bad. My mum had an appointment today to confirm treatment. the op will definately be before christmas. My sister said she seemed quite nervous this morning but my dad went with her so hopefully that helped. she works at the hospital, for an oncologist!, and stayed the afternoon in work so hopefully the appointment calmed her nerves abit.She went to her st johns meeting like normal tonight with my sister i think she will be determined not to let this slow her down any more that it needs to. she finished the living room curtains too!
THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS OF SUPPORT.
My thoughts go out to all you and your families going through trying times.
please feel free to contact me, it really is good to talk!
