Soon to be widow?

Hi MrsWoo

I've just come back to this site after a long absence and posted something similar to you.  My long-term partner was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the oesophagus and liver just over a year ago and seems to be deteriorating very quickly.  It does sometimes seem like a long, lonely journey, doesn't it?

My heart really goes out to you because you are much younger than I am and you have your baby to consider too.  

In the early days of John's illness, this site really kept me going because we're all suffering similar problems and I hope you are given as much support as I was (and still am when I show up online).

Even close family don't really understand what is going on.  I sometimes think they don't want to believe what is really happening.

I've kept going by blotting everything out most of the time and concentrating on John.  After all, if he's not going to be around long he deserves most of my attention.  However, I do find I need time to myself once a week - something to look forward to.

If you possibly can, try to get away for a couple of hours and do something just for you.  It may seem selfish, but you will come back refreshed and with the realisation that life still does go on beyond four walls.  You owe it to yourself and to your husband or you may begin to resent him.

Keep your chin up sweetheart.  Try to be strong for your husband and your young child and you will come through in the end.  If ever you need a friendly ear, remember I'm here.  Write me a private message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Lots of love and *hugs*

Madge x x x x x

Hi MrsWoo,

Madge is telling you as it is . Stay on this site and you will get all the Love, Support Strength,and Caring. There is always someone here to help you in anyway we can.

Look after yourself.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.x

Thank you both x x , understanding is what I am looking for which I think only people going through the same thing can understand, as you say Madge I don't think close family can understand it all.  Madge I will message you later when I have some more time as would be nice to chat. Thanks x

Hi Mrs Woo, Madge and sarsfield I too am a carer for my husband  and we have been on and off chemo 6 yrs and 3 ops as well,i dont know where my darling Pete gets his strengh and courage from i am so proud of him,we are all in the same boat and i wish that cure was here now,you can private message me anytime its nice to talk.Hugs to everyone Chris.xx

Just to update with the sad news that my wonderful Hubbie passed away on Sunday 29th May aged 40, never when I started this blog did I think less than a month later he would be gone, time has gone so fast and he deteriated so quickly. I at least got to do what a lot of people don't, say goodbye and for him to die peacefully at home with just me sitting by his side reassuring him that it was ok, it was a very special moment and I think that is what is keeping me strong. I am coping ok, I know he was free of pain and at peace, he had said goodbye to everone in quite an emotional afternoon the day before. The hardest thing to deal with is our little girl, she is only 2 and just keeps asking where daddy is and that she wants to give him a cuddle. Am keeping busy, lots to plan and do, and appreciating the support of friends and family but a lot of them seem more lost than me and have no idea what to say, it's hard as I feel like I then have to comfort them but am taking each day as it comes. It would have been our 5th wedding anniversary tomorrow and I don't know what to do with myself, I will see what the day brings! Sending hugs to all those dealing with the loss of a loved one and especially those still caring for a loved one as I feel that seeing the person you love so much having to go through so much pain and torment is harder than coping with your own pain of losing them, I am comforted knowing he is at peace now.