Watching dad die

1 minute read time.

Has anyone else watched a love one have a traumatic death. My father has lung cancer Mesothelioma due to Asbestos. He went into the hospice over 2 weeks ago to sort out his meds as he had become toxic with the over use of morphine. He had terrible withdrawl symptoms, twitching, hallucinations, confusion it was very painful to watch. A week later the hospice told us that dad was to weak to come home and that he may only have a few days to live. We waited and waited and a week on he is still with us. Dad said he feels horrible, can hardly breath, he said he never thought it would be like this and we agree. He wants it to be over. He has pleaded with the doctor to give him an injection but of course they can't do that. We just want his suffering to end. He has been on a syringe driver for the last 3 days and they have given him a heavy sedative to knock him out. Sorry if this scares people but we never talk about how people die. I suppose some of us have difficult births and some of us have difficult deaths. Thanks for listening.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Selina

    So sorry,.....your post hadnt shown when I replied before.

    I think your probably right about your Dad  wanting it that way.

     I hope you can all find peace in the knowledge that he is now pain free, it doesnt help right now but it will xx

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    So sorry to read about your Dad Selina it is awful to see your parent suffer (((hugs)))) xx Paula

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    If it's any consolation Selina, I understand very few people die when their loved ones are at their side. It's as if they don't ant to put other people through it. They often let go when you go out for a coffee or to the loo.

    When my lovely Granny died, I was with her, but the home told us that was only the second time family had been with someone when they died. We were all with my sister too, when she died at 40.

    In case it worries anyone else - being with someone when they die isn't awful. (I used to be terrified.) It's a privilege. They came into this world surrounded by love and it's great when they can leave it that way. But I believe people choose when to let go in these situations, and that is their choice.

    I now have leukaemia. Don't know what my decision will be!

    Lots of love to you Selina.