Listening to the radio on my drive to work and hearing The Killers (irony?) telling me to 'Smile like I mean it', and thinking 'yes, lots of days I can' but today all I feel is like I'm choking with rage, tears, frustration, tiredness and struggling against all the voices telling me to 'be brave'. And so here I am, two hours later, writing my first ever blog having been sent home by my boss…