light at the end of the tunnel?

I havent been on this site long but have read so many interesting, heartwarming,happy and sad stories that I felt the need to add mine.I was dx with bc in 2007, 22nd October the day after my eldest daughters 20th birthday. The only other person who knew I had bc was my friend Janice who came with me and sat through all my tests and was with me when the doc and breast care nurse broke the news ( I felt so sorry for her she went to pieces). Then it was home to break the news to everyone my 11 yr old and 20 yr old daughters, my boyfriend,my goddaughter. Janice rang work and let them know. By this time I think I was on autopilot, I didnt realise it at the time I felt calm. My surgery was scheduled for November 13th (luckily it wasnt a Friday). I had three weeks to sort everything out and get everything in order, just in case. The only time I had been in hospital was to have my children and after 49 years I was going in for major surgery! I WAS TERRIFIED. I went to work to keep things normal, I am a classroom assistant. I had a mastectomy and 15 lymph nodes removed. I was fortunate to have a lovely lady called Jean in the same room as me keeping me going and giving me support. She is 72 and she had had surgery (a lumpectomy). She was sat up eating toast when I arrived in the side ward. We chatted non stop. When I got home everyone was realy supportive but what I wanted was to get my life back to normal again now that I had survived the surgery.As I have read countless times the hospital becomes your way of life and so many people want a piece of you that I gat lost somewhere on the way. I was trying so so hard to have a NORMAL life again that I did as much as I could without anyone else , it was a struggle but I did it. I didnt want pity, I didnt feel brave and I certainly didnt want to be a burden to anyone. I had an 11 yr old to think about. I involed Courtney as much as I could I took her with me when I had my 1st chemo session on 2nd Jan08 (I had a riproaring chritmas and new year with the black cloud hanging over my head). We had a good day. I had a few blips with the chemo 3 sessions of FEC 3 sessions of Taxitere, sickness allergic reaction but got through it.No problems with the radiotherapy, 15 sessions, went shopping with my girls after treatment, primark macdonalds, what could be better therapy than that! I got the results from my biopsies and the cancer was gone, was this the time to be dancing round the room? I didnt feel anything was that normal? Anyway I was told that I would need Herceptin, I was told when I was diagnosed that if I needed Herceptin it would be available to me. I started herceptin in June 08, I have it at home every 3 weeks and apart from a few aches and pains have found it ok. I added another hospital to my list of Christies, tameside and now wythenshawe for heart scans. Its nearly 12 months now and coming to the end of my treatment ( the time has just flown). Hospital appointments have dwindled ( not my life now). Both myself and Courtney have had counselling which helped enourmously. The last piece of the jigsaw for me was going back to work (or so I thought). I went back to work initially on 2 days then on full time. I couldnt cope with it because, I think, what I classed as normal before isnt anymore. My normal now is looking after my daughters and granddaughter, who is 3 and beautiful, having a lie down when I am knackered and just doing what I want to do when I want to do it. I found me again through counselling, lost me again when I went back to work but now I am beginning to find me again. There is light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a bit hazy at the moment I am determined to keep going to make the light brighter.