I have been coming on to the site for nearly 2 years now, I was a “What Nower” first.
In that time I have made many good cyber friends that I have laughed and cried with. People that have given advise and a friendly or encouraging word, people that have lifted me when I have been down and have rejoiced with me when we have had good news. I’m not going to name you, as you know who you are and some who are sadly not around anymore.
I logon daily to see how my cyber friends are doing but I have all but stopped blogging, I sometimes comment on others bloggs or try help people just starting out on this rollercoaster ride.
I have had so much support and know that when I feel down or want to rant I can come on here and do so without anyone judging me.
Laurence is doing so well at the moment and as some of you know he has decided not to have 3 monthly scans. We both decided that the waiting to have the scan then the waiting for results was worse than actually finding out how many new lesions had appeared and how big the others had grown.
We are trying to go through his “Bucket List” and fit in things we had planned on doing when we both retired. We are trying our hardest to squeeze the best we can out of the time we have and try not to focus on the cancer and what lies ahead.
Just lately though, I have found this so hard. I have read how people (mainly carers) are coping with end stage and I marvel at their courageousness while my heart breaks for them. This brings to the forefront of my mind that we have this to face, and it frightens me silly. The past few weeks I have found myself starting to dwell on these things rather than the here and now. Therefore I have decided to cut myself off from the site for a while.
This decision makes me feel really damned selfish as I know I have had so much support, love and laughter from the people on this site and should be here to give back to others.
Please forgive me for bailing out and I hope you will keep intouch via email, facebook or through our family web-site.
Live your life at its fullest
Laugh at all the things that don’t matter
Love with all that you have & more
Shelley
