How much more can one person endure?

1 minute read time.

Where to begin! My dad bless him had bowel cancer 6-7 years ago and beat it with 6 months chemo and operation.  Now diagnosed with lung cancer primary. I suspected in April this year his cancer was back but shocked to find it was a primary in the lung and tracked to his spine. Then to have a PET scan a few weeks after diagnosis and find that it had then spread within 2 weeks to his hip and sternum.  He started an aggressive regime of chemo, during which he ended up in hospital for 5 days, then back in the following week for 12 days and discharged today.  All resulting from the first session of chemo.  To be told today that the results from his MRI were bad and it has spread to his pelvis, and chemo is now stopped as he is so ill another dose would kill him.  That he caught C Diff while in hospital and is life threatening for him.  After I specifically told the ward that  he is a cancer /chemo patient and still they left him on the main ward where they had D&V!!!  He then blacked out last night in hospital and fell out of bed and smashed his head on the floor.....  The doctor today could not tell me how much further it had spread as the MRI had only scanned his hip area!!  We are now not sure if he will be here for xmas and are planning his wish list and a possible early xmas.... While dealing with this I also have to deal with my great aunt who has severe dementia and incontinence.  My dad was her carer but obviously is no longer able to look after her.

My cousin died 2 weeks ago from pancreatic cancer and then to find out tonight, another cousin is now also on the cancer ward.......  When will this nightmare stop?

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    What an awful time of it you are having, i take my hat off to you for being as strong as you are and for being there when your dad needs you most. Over the last year i have lost five relatives and last week found out my father has terminal cancer and i am not coping at all. Look after yourself and seek help where you can from who you can, start calling in favours because if you run yourself into the ground you wont be able to support the people who need you the most. Keep strong and keep going, you are an inspiration.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Shellt,

    Where does one begin. Having read your post it was so difficult just to realize how much more one person can take.

    It made for very sad reading. The sad thing is the nightmare never stops. How you have got through all this and still be sane is beyond me. Deep down inside you must have a Lot of strength,support,

    caring and Love to give.

    I can offer you some of my strength and support and comfort if you need it. Iam sorry that it looks like it is going to be a very tough time coming up to xmas. I wish I could do more. But if you want to talk

    or I can help in any way I will always be here if you need a shoulder. Dont forget to look after yourself

    and your own health.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Shelt....I'm so sad to read what a horrible time you're going through, and how poorly your lovely Dad is. I lost my Dad to Bowel Cancer on New Years Day 2009, so like you, had to face his awful decline over Christmas...so my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you've got so many other family members poorly too...why does it always come at once..! You sound so strong, but please make sure you look after yourself too (Sarsfield is right!), it's easy to forget that..!! Here if ever you feel like a chat. Take care, thinking of you all. Janey x x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Bless you all and thank you.  I have to say I dont feel that strong I am sat here now with tears rolling down my face at all the kind words you have all left me.  Its only a times like this that I feel I can cry, when on myown.

    To Sarsfield bless you, you have enough to deal with yourself and yet you still are so compassionate and thoughtful to others.  I wish you well my friend and hope things get better for you. My thoughts and love go to you and your family. xx

    To Fatcat, so very sorry to hear about your dad my heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts.  I hope that you to have help and good friends to lean on. Have they said if they can help your dad in any way? Much love xx

    To JaneyH again thanks for your very kind words. So sorry to hear of your awful loss. Again my thoughts are with you and your family.. you are right I have been running around in circles and am so physically tired and trying to keep a full time job down as well.  I am single so only have my wonderful baby bro to lean on, but have some fantastic friends who support me no end... I am a person who feels that I have to keep things together also being the eldest doesnt help. Much love to you xx

    I work in the hospital as a medical secretary and have been there for 14 years so know many of the staff.  Unfortunatly it is true that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing... So I do have more knowledge about medical things than if I did not work there.. This makes it harder, and you see others going through it all the time as well.  But we will enjoy the time we hav e together and make it the best xmas possible for him, even if it means having it early it will be very special.  Again thank you all xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Just a quick update Dad had a blood test at the GP's yesterday morning, then received a phone call last night from him to say that he had to go back into hospital this morning at 9.00, but in the meantime to drink at least 2 pints of water...  This to me does not bode well at all.  The only conclusion I can come up with is the possibilty of kidney failure - from the chemo.  We will have to see what they say and whether they are going to keep him in again... will update soon xx