Helpless

1 minute read time.

Kenny has just completed 5 weeks of Radiotherapy Treatment and Chemotherapy, with the hope that the tumour in his gullet will have shrunk.  Consultant told us at the start that it would be unlikely to be operable, but the treatment would prevent it spreading and would contain it.  That was a shock.  We had always thought that the treatment would allow the surgeons to remove the tumour which had spread through the wall of the gullet and was close to the heart.  We have come to terms with the fact that operating may not be an option.  I have read a lot of posts on this site from people who have had the tumour removed, and I had really hoped that Kenny would be one of them.  So what's the future for him?  More chemo and RT?  How do you live with a cancer which you can't remove?  So many questions.

I feel very helpless to know what to think and I feel like our world has been turned upside down.  I am so scared of the future.  The RT treatment and the chemo have been hard and Kenny sleeps most of the time, has no appetite or energy.  But he still manages to make me laugh when he tries.  I feel so sorry for him and wish we could get our life back together again. 

It helps me to share this and to read the experiences of others on this site.  It is a good support and a good way to know that you are not alone.

6 weeks till scans to show the result of the treatment.  Staying hopeful, is all we can do.

Love to you all

Sheena

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