Mum made her decision

1 minute read time.

So from previous posts I explained my mum is stage 4 non small cell Lung cancer ......5cm tumour in right Lung  and its already spread to the lymph nodes ......I say we all time as we been a team it always been me and mum  so back on 8th Sept we had  chemo and  immuno therapy and since then  we have had 5 stays in hospital  sadly not the cancer hospital but just A&E 

We have the same battle over and over again we have the bloods the x-rays scans and  it's infection markers are off the scale lie blood pressure crap saturation and ends up on oxygen  the infection clears and they say she can go home as oncologist needs to  see us as an outpatient  but it never happens as we're back in hospital again with another infection.........

Anyways  mum in hospital and I got the dreaded call yesterday morning saying mum deteriorated over night and  intensive care team were seeing her and if I could to get to hospital ASAP  I got there and the intensive care team who I have to say were fantastic decided not to ventilate her instead mum is on a warm high flow oxygen  and its already made a difference 

However as title says mum has made the decision she no longer wants to have any treatment  after a phonecall with the oncologist  who said that chemo not option as she reacted to  it but they did want to try another immuno therapy  but had a 2wk window . My mum has said she can't keep going through the same process of a&e etc she tired of it  her body hurting and more importantly mentally she is exhausted  and she had enough 

We have registered a DNR on mums records and we have asked for a referral and also referral to  the palliative team to plan for what happens next .......

I knew it was coming but still hurts like mad and feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest  I am loosing my queen my rock my bestie and I cant do anything about it 

Thanks for the space to rant xxx

  • hi there, sorry to hear this news. Have you been referred to a hospice?? I have but not for end of life care but because they offer so much more care.  I was in a similar situation to your mum in August. I was starting chemo again but after just 1 session I ended up in A&E at The Royal Liverpool. They unfortunately don't have the facilities or knowledge to reat cancer patients. I stopped the chemo because I was physically and mentally drained and at that point I didn't care if I lived or died. Now after a full break of treatment since then and enjoying whatever time I have left with my family and friends. You can contact a local hospice yourself , you don't need a referral from anywhere. I didn't know this until after I was referred. I hope you get to spend quality time together. x

  • So sad.  Hardest thing to go through.  Somehow you will find the strength but rant when you must, cry when you must - God gave us tears for a reason.  

  • Hi Orphan Reds.... just checking in to see how your mum is doing as well as you. Thinking about you all and sending best wishes x

  • I can't imagine wat your feeling at the minute and I have no great words of wisdom for you except your mum will always be around youtryto enjoy every second now, it will be a comfort to  you when you need it. That's my experience anyway xxxxxxxx