I need a rant - it's not fair . . . . . it's just not fair . . . . .
I'm not a happy bunny. I finished treatment back in October 2008 and went for my first check up January 2009. I had my second check up 2 weeks ago where I mentioned a swelling on my spine. The oncologist thought it could be a haematoma as it was very unlikely that the sarcoma would return so far from the original site. However just to be on the safe side he sent me for a PET scan, ultrasound and biopsy. The PET scan came back "inconclusive" as did the ultrasound. (Oh how we grow to love their little phrases - "inconclusive" - I ask you). You can guess what's coming, The oncologist phoned me this afternoon to tell me the biopsy (after several checks) came back positive for angiosarcoma. I know its got a high incidence of recurrence, but I thought I might get a few years before it came back. So its back to see the surgeon next week to discuss surgery and further treatment.
Despite my usual optimism, I suspected this would be this would be the outcome, but I'm still really really miffed and want to have a tantrum. When I had the biopsy I was hoping it was a cyst, and the needle would pop it, no such luck. Then there was the secret hope that I had maybe somehow managed to injure the middle of my back and forgotten all about it - thus causing a haematoma.
I know life isn't fair, and many of you are going through far worse than me, but just for today, tonight, its my turn to have a rant.
I'll be okay tomorrow, I just needed a moan tonight.
Sharry x
