Hi all, haven't been on for a while.
Neutropenic again after day 14 of chemo so back off to the hospital for another fortnight of crap food and cynical old men moaning about the NHS.
My next chemo was going to be cycle 3, after which I was going to have another CT scan to see if the tumours in my lungs had changed. Reduced 50% or more = Excellent, Reduced some = good, No Change = Bad, Grown = Really shite !!!!.
But I didn't need to wait for a 3rd cycle or a CT scan. A simple chest X-Ray revealed the news was Really shite. The tumours in both lungs are growing, the Doxurubicin wasn't working.
Ok, deep breath. What now?
We're changing to Ifosfamide, more side effects than Dox and a 3 day stint in hospital every cycle. 3 or 4 cycles if I can handle it. If that doesn't do anything it's off to the Marsden to see what they can do, but the outlooks not good. 6 months or so unless we have a miracle.
So talk now cannot skip over the T word. I am now terminal.
Surprisingly it only took me and the wife a little while to get over the grief and blubbering until we could formulate sentences and discuss the future. At the moment, together we are both amazingly strong and are planning for 2 possible outcomes but, only hoping for one. However, alone we are both devastated and frightened.
Typically the news was broken to us just before the Holiday weekend when my Onc was off for a week. All those initial questions that you forget to ask will be building up until Tuesday.
The positivity of friends and family is amazing. I'm not sure I should let on to too many people about my bad news in case that changes to despair.
Anyway more to follow I'm sure.
Peace
Dave
ps .Anybody know anything about Trabectedin
FormerMember
It certainly does suck !! Sorry mate. Dave thats a shocker isnt it - maybe the next chemo will bring some repreive - I have had 3 different chemos since being told the T word - the last one worked partially (different cancers I know but....) so you never know. Keep making memories and try to enjoy the good days if you can. So sorry - wish I could help somehow, Jools x
Sorry to hear your rotten news. But heh, you're not dead yet! Glad you are managing this thing together with your wife. If makes all the difference to have a supportive partner, and glad you managed to blubber together and not have to creep off and do it in secret.
Can't think of much to say to you except that old chestnut of living one day at a time. I think you should let your friends and family understand the situation. Better they have time to get used to the idea.
Re hospital food - it never ceases to amaze me how they can feed that garbage to sick people and expect them to get better! I wouldn't give it to my dog. Not that I have a dog, but if I did I wouldn't give it hospital food!
Stay strong, old bean. You never know what's around the corner. Best wishes to your lovely wife, too.
sorry about your crappy news it really is shite....but while you still have options you still have hope mate. I've been terminal for well over 3 years now...aint planning on going anywhere yet either so don't be listening to timescales, we are all different. You and your wife sound like an amazingly strong team, whatever you face you will do so together!
As Mr Gallagher says..."you and I...we're gonna live forever" or at least until we are proven wrong! Keep strong!
Why on earth did he have to tell you before the bludy holiday thats shite! I think cancer is really really shite, why some of us get it and some dont makes me wonder what life is all about and it seems to effect all the loveley people in this world including my wonderful mother Ruby. I live from day today and I think thats the best advice I can give you, having your wife with you will help as does my husband he has the knack of making me forget whats happened to me.
As for the food ask your wife to bring in supplies for you, be positve aswell as the mind is a powerful thing and its been proven by scientists that a postive mind has a positive effect on illness and the body, Oh I should take my own advice, my husband would laugh his socks off if he read this.
