No sex drive

Hi and welcome to the Community. I came across tour blog searching for something else. If you join the Prostate Cancer Group you are more likely to get some help. Just click on the link in bold

Prostate Cancer

Hello   This is what the Hormone Treatment is meant to do as it takes away the hormone Testosterone which is what feeds prostate cancer so during treatment this needs to be kept as low as possible which results in loss of libido and general "menopausal" type symptoms in men - hot flushes, emotional swings etc.  The HT also weakens the cancer cells so that if your boyfriend is to go on and have radiotherapy (RT) this will be even more successful as the cells will be in a weakened state when hit by the RT.  Usually the longer one is on HT the longer it will take once HT is finished to get full function back. but once HT is finished you will find that it will usually return slowly over the following months.  It may be a good idea for either you or him - or even both of you to talk about this with his key worker or Macmillan Nurse as this obviously means a lot to you as a couple so you want to know what you can both do to keep your relationship going over this stressful time and also enable him to return to the best function he can which may involve exercises,  and/or medication at some stage.

Not sure if you are still here but, I know how you feel. I'm on HT, been on it for 9 months, had radiotherapy and all that brings. But I'm alive and kicking so it cant all be bad. But it can be....... Like you we had a great active sex life, it was an important part of our life. I couldn't put here things we got up to over the years!!! But then along came prostate cancer out of the blue. I have been prescribed tadalafil, this enables me to get and sustain an erection but there is no orgasm for me and forget about long passionate sessions, I don't have the energy. In fact as you say, slowly the desire is fading as well. And that's not fair on my wife. There are 2 of us in this but sadly I cant help it so I carry an enormous guilt. Its something we enjoyed. How do we survive when from what I see, sex for us is basically finished. My desire is over, hers isn't. From my experience, its avoided in any discussion with MacM, when we went to my diagnosis meeting we met with someone like my great aunt who was clearly embarrassed to even mention impotency, let alone "air pumps" and so she looked at us disapprovingly. Like I was some kind of pervert. So I avoid them like the plague. My consultant prescribed the Tadalafil, as I say they do work, but getting more from my GP was also fraught with trauma. Where to from here? No idea, can I expect my mid 40 something wife to never have sex again? Is that fair? I don't worry about me, it is what it is, I'm a possible T4, def T3b, Gleasons 4+3,  but I cant deal with the future right now.