I'm 56 years old, a healthy male married since we were both 19 and still very much in love.
5 years ago my wife got a diagnosis of breast cancer, she decided to have a double mastectomy, radiation and chemotherapy, to say this was a hard time for her ( and myself ) would be an understatement ) I never missed an appointment and was there by her side at every step, I watched her lose her hair, endure the horrible pain of treatment and still remember screaming into my pillow at night in am attempt to release whatever it was emotionally I was going through, I'd break down and just randomly cry if the thought of losing her even entered my mind ( I'm not that type normally ), this being said we are now on the other side of her treatment, I love her more now than probably ever before, she still has issues from treatment but all in all we live a fairly normal life, she's in real estate and works 80% of the time from home, I'm in private security.
Before cancer our sex life was literally amazing, hopefully not too much information here but 4 to 6 times a week was normal and sometimes twice daily, that being said I've not had the same drive since her treatment ( she hasn't either ) but it's affected me more than her I believe, I no longer look at her through sexual eyes and desire her like before, I don't know if it's the physical aspect or the fact that I watched her go through absolute hell and live through it, I can hold her, snuggle, cuddle and squeeze her all day, I absolutely am in love with her, I'm just not sexually attracted any longer, I will lose an erection if she is performing oral sex, it's like I get in my own head ( I've taken all forms of ED drugs, that's not it ) and I'm feeling absolutely horrible about it, I don't want her thinking I'm not attracted to her ( she is still a very attractive woman, very beautiful ) and I see her beauty but sexually I'm just not there.
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what you did about it?
Thank you.
