i a so scared about my appointment on monday with oncologist! as i will be given thr results of pet scan and ct scan of brain !! i am convinced that it has spread all ov er me !! now my bloody hair has fell out ! even though i hd it cut really short yesterday its still falling out! im not sleeping waking really early havent got the energy to do anyhting supposed to be having 2nd cycle of chemo next week !! but if they tell me it has spread further and things change i want what time is left in some sort of better health !! so i wont have it !!! i have told my family i just want to wake up and hope that i have dreamt all of this !!!! i know they cant cure the cancer but they say they can hold it back but at what cost !!! i know im a moaner tonite i feel really negative and scared xxsorry all
