cant get it out of myn head

Hi Luckylegs

You have got rid of the cancer and the chemo and radiotherapy is insurance that it wont come back.

Have had the same treatment as you 2 years ago and a body scan in Feb showed I was still clear.

I think we all have dark thoughts so you are not on your own.

Good luck with the rest of your treatment. You will get there.

Love

Sue xxx

Hi Sue and Luckylegs, Sue knows all about 'the demons' that visit me from time to time. She is my friend and counsellor. Something bothers you, post it on the site. You are not alone, we all have fears and we all support each other. Dont suffer in silence.

Love Bill xxxxxxx

Hi to Sue/Bill :D

Hello Luckylegs, nice to meet you:)

I  haven't got the disease-(my son,21, is the patient).

I think of many things I don't want to think about,

Same as you do, same as we all do....

Everyone has their own personal 'DEMONS',.......(as 1000's on this site would testify too)

Like you, we've all got our own personal/lthoughts/worries/'demons').....

When us humans were given 'minds', we weren't given a 'delete' option!

It'd be so handy to have one! {**}

I find it really helps me to just write a blog, on this MACsite,(it's only readable for your friends on this site; no-one outside of MAC can read it), & I just get everything 'out of me' by writing down ALL the things that are 'haunting' me/my thoughts;....

& boy, it REALLY does help!

Maybe it is the sort of thing you feel would help you? PURGE your mind/body through writing?

You'll be happily surprised by the positive. supporting, responses you get back: (not mentioning the release YOU'LL get from writing it all out!)

Writing is a physical/mental, 'release', releasing those Demons which we ALL do have inside us, haunting our thoughts....

You're not alone with how you feel..

Sometimes, as an observer, it seems to me that with this disease, once the word remission has been said, the actual patient remains 'fearful', as family/friends gleefully celebrate; seeing it as 'the end of it all'; while the 'patient' is simply deflated, & confused as to what to do, & how to life life after cancer! We are getting nearer to a cure all the time.

Five years ago, my son wouldn't have had the option of the cure he finally had; (a stemcell transplant, by Donor: bless that person!!!).

So (Heaven forbid), if a few years down the line 'IT' should return, the medicines would be more advanced, more type specific, so much more advanced,and 'patient kinder' than the drugs used nowadays.

Things that aren't 'curable' now, will be available in the future.

All the times cures are being found/advanced.

Bluntly, if my son had the illness he has, just five years ago, he'd now be at the 'nothing left to do stage'!....

What a difference 5yrs makes!!

Everyday makes a difference; I wonder what options will be available in another 5yrs?

To me it seems people in remission,sometimes worry so much that 'it' could 'return', that they forget to live their here & now!....

Time's valuable; don't spend yours worrying my love; there really is so much geniuine support on this site.

Not 'nosiness, nor judging, all you'll find is a wealth of support that just suddenly responds to a 'friend' in need.

Your 'demons' are 100% better for you out, as opossed to festering, as it 'feeds' your fears inside!

I wish you all the very best, & hope you find the 'piece of mind' you so need!

Much love-laney xxx

P/S Sorry it's so long! :))

Hi luckylegs, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2003.  I had a lumpectomy followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy followed by five years on tamoxifen.

I was given the all clear in September last year, so this disease can be beaten,although like you and most other cancer sufferers the fear of return is still there, although admittedly not as strong as it was at the beginning.

It is a scary place to be, but try to stay positive if you can. There is hope out there and there is plenty of support and understanding on this site.

I hope this has been of some help to you.

Best wishes, Christine xx