If anybody has any advice please email me as I really am struggling so many emotions that I have to control or try and understand everyday this on top of not feeling so great and hiding the pain from others so they don't hurt
FormerMember
Morning Fashy, Just spotted your first message, sorry to see you joining the club no one wants to be in. Your emotions will be all over the place it's very scary and weird when first diagnosed. You know it's you standing there in 'that' room but it's like all that bad news being spoken about is for someone else. There are a couple of groups you may find some help and support from.
The first one is the Main Brain Group and the other is the Secondary Lung Group. Click the links to check them out and join either or both if you think they will be of help. On the group page just select new discussion and post an intro and see what welcome replies you get.
Another couple of pointers try not to keep this to yourself as you will end up an emotional pressure cooker, even if you only tell a few close friends and relatives. They are going to be the ones to help get you during this rough patch so help them to help you. You will be hurting them more by not telling them. They will feel hurt because you didn't want their help and support. If it was another close family member, (wife, child, sister, brother or parent) you would need to know and feel hurt if kept out of it right ?
Secondly don't Google, a lot of the stuff out there is either way out of date or totally wrong and it's easy to get misinformed stick with reliable web sites like Macmillan and Cancer Research uk.
Morning Fashy, Very easy for people to say but not so easy to do if you feel unable to talk to family and friends make sure you have a macmillan carer. I was in the same boat as you bottled all the unanswered questions up for a very long time. Didn't want to trouble my family and I didn't even know who to ask and what to ask total fish out of water. I like you hid all the pain to the point I nearly collasped with just shear exhaustion from dealing with it all. But I finally managed to open up to Jackie my macmillan nurse she could see the pain I was in and got me talking GOD that helped me so much was like a mountain being lifted off my shoulders and she helped me open up to my daughter a little still can't tell her all but at least can tell her now when the pain is bad and I don't feel guilty about it now. I felt guilty about not being able to do my housework was as low as low could be. We have come to an arrangement now I can do the laundry as I can sit and do that am lucky that I have a laundry room and I do the dishwasher can use my wheelchair in the kitchen as I am disabled now also can't always get all the china put away but just stack it on the worktops and Helen that's my daughter will put it away for me. But please try as hard as you can to open up and talk to someone it help's I know it is hard but do try. Even an old bird like me I am 71 now needed to open up and words help you sound as though you are a young person so pleases believe other people do understand and want to help if it is ok can I come back to you tomorrow just to say hello and find out how you doing. Veronica
Dressmaker (Veronica). Thank you so much for your reply your words mean a lot and have helped a great deal, please feel free to contact me again anytime you like, I will look forward to chatting with you again. God bless, Bobby
