Just had the most awful weekend ever. Mum was discharged on Friday evening at 9pm. It was all terribly rushed and unorganised. Mum was sent home with NO medication at all. Dad asked for an ambulance to take her home as he wouldn't be able to get her up a very steep flight of stairs leading up to my parents flat. They bundled her up the stairs, pushing her, and they didn't have a chair. Mum was so weak once she finally got up the stairs. Later on in the evening Mum fell off the toilet and became paralysed and Dad couldn't move her. Luckily Dad managed to get her on to a mattress on their bedroom floor where she spent the night. She was v hydrated abnd had been on nil by mouth for the previous 2 days at hospital. She had no pain relief or antibiotics.
I'm absolutely disgusted how the hospital dealt with her discharge. All they seemed to care about was kicking everyone out for the easter weekend. Dad's going to be making a formal complaint as that Mum has only weeks left to live and will deteriorate rapidly. Mum is mainly staying in bed and using a commode. At least she's still eating. She's in no pain as she has morphine. Nurses are coming in every night at 10pm to administer IV antibiotics. She just looks so very unwell and it's so distressing to see her like this.....
I'm absolutely devastated and lost for words. I can't get my head around this news. Luckily I have an extremly supportive boyfriend who i love very much. I don't know what I would have done without him this weekend. I'm scared that I'm going to slip back in to my old habits - I used to self harm.
Anyways, just taking a day at a time and going to spend as much time with Mum as possible.
Sarah xx
FormerMember
Sarah, direct your pain to the proper authorities or to the people that you need to 'unload' to without harming yourself. Hold onto the good things...your Dad, your boyfriend...hold onto each other and use each other's strengths to get through this most trying and difficult time for you all. Being with your Mum and telling her all the wonderful things she means to you and helping to care for her must be something special for a Mum to hear. I have no children but was a daughter to a beautiful woman who had ovarian cancer. We talked and I told her those things that I felt in my heart and cared for her as no stranger would. Take very good care of the body your Mum gave you. I am sending a very warm hug and wish you support with my words and hope you find comfort in the midst of the people you love.
Thanks for all your lovely supportive comments, they have really helped me *hugs*
I won't self harm again, it would absolutely destroy my Mum. I just need to find better ways of coping that are less destructive. Just have so many feelings; anger, frustration, sadness..... Also I'm really not sleeping at all, but don't want to go down the route of sleeping tablets; been there done that.
I stayed at my parents house last night (they live near Taunton and I live in Exmouth). The nurses from the out of hours team are going in to do Mum's PICC line for the antibiotics. The nurse didn't leave until 11.30pm but i'm glad I stayed up and was part of the conversation. There seems to be conflict between the 2 consultants involved in Mum's care. One is very negative and has basically said that there is nothing more that can be done and that if Mum gets another infection she shouldn't bother going in to hospital. The other one is a lot more positive; he was the one who really got things moving after Mum's diagnosis last May. He was the one who pushed for Mum to go to the BRI to have some pioneering surgery with the top 2 liver specialists in the country. The problem seems to be that there is no plan in place on how to proceed. Someone needs to make a decision about whether to keep her on the antibiotics and whether to keep the chest drain in.
Anyways, enough from me, I'm at work so probably should get on with some work, or at least look like I'm doing something.
