Well I've just put a sick note in at work for 2 weeks. I'm so run down at the moment, I keep getting colds and I'm so tired. I'm finding it difficult to get everything done that I need to do. My husband is finding it difficult to keep his temper and when your dealing with a 2 year old its hard enough. He wanted to help today because I feel ill but he was getting angry with our son and shouting at him for licking his jam tart as opposed to biting it! I cannot condone him shouting at our son. I need to relax but I can't, I find it hard to not worry about the future and am not enjoying much at the moment. I have good friends but they all seem so distant from me now. I can't be much fun anymore, whenever they ask how things are if I'm at all honest I leave them dumbstruck about what to say. I tell them now, were all ok and try to move on to something else. But what else?!?! I work and I come home and that's pretty much it. I'm such a moaner lately and I swear this is not how I used to be. I used to go out all the time with friends and family and be so positive and I used to be there for all my friends. Now my friends/family dont want to bother me as I have enough on my plate! When in fact being involved in life is what i need its a nice distraction. My husband is trying so hard through all of this, he is an absolute gem at times and I am so scared of losing him. I hurt each day when I see him happy with our son it hurts and when he's not it hurts too. We are all off to St Ives next week and I'm very much looking forward to it, but not the washing ironing! Sitting on the beach making sandcastle a and eating ice creams and nipping back out at sunset with hubby (friends coming with us) for a nice Bacardi and fresh air. Making some wonderful memories to keep forever. I won £1732 on the radio a couple of weeks ago so no penny pinching either YAY! Sending love out to all you people who are fighting! Love Sazza x
