Hi All,
Just thought l would write a blog to clear my head and get things into perspective.
The last year has been a hard and confusing battle, to be told you have cancer and other medical issues has taken its toll on me and has affected my personality and humor which up until now had nearly gone. l felt in despair especially behind closed doors and thought l could do it all on my own with out any support .l now realise you dont have to be on your own with this and thats its ok to ask for help. This site has changed my way of thinking about life, it has made me cry and more so laugh so hard - which has been so refreshing. lt has also has made me feel l can express my feelings in a place that wont be judged, pited or ridiculed.
Up to date I have had my operation to remove lump out of my left breast on thursday and will go back to see what the next step may be from the biopsy - hopefully nothing , so at least l will know whats happening and not dreaming up the worst. l have also had gynae appointment this week, it was confirmed that l do have endemetrosis but he dosent think its too bad . Will just need to have a coloscopy to remove the fibroyd , so thats better news than l expected. Also now just waiting on fertility clinic to see what help they can offer me, as my fertility tests came back low, but, l will cross that bridge when l get to it than worry about it now , So, on the whole things are looking up and im starting to feel back on an even keel.
Its so easy for me to feel sorry for myself and sink into depression but what l have realised lately is that im missing out on life as im worrying about what could be, so l am now determined to enjoy life as much as possible and not dwell on what may or not may be and if im having a bad day to speak up and welcome any support offered to me where ever l am.
lf l do have to have further treatment in any form then l will do it ,talk about it, take support and definately not give in to my dark side where l end up in despair and isolated from my own negative thoughts.
So l thank everyone who has talked to me throughout this site, as you have made me aware of what really matters in life and the importance of having a postive attitude.
so thank u xxxx
FormerMember
Hi Sarah. We have all been there. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone in our home 24/7 for anything that ails us? Well, this site is kind of like that...but for the head. A virtual buddy-bar hang out, if you will. You can come in and say a few words and leave. Or use the chat for real time support or nonsense to clear your head. Or comment on another's difficult time or another's wonderful news. Don't do it alone. And just because your illnes isn't as bad as someone else's doesn't mean it should mean less to you. We feel what we feel...with NO apologies!!! So...hope you are having a decent day...a good one even!!!
You are not alone in having negative thoughts but at least you are now recognising them for what they are and fighting to put things in perspective. You're entitled to feel angry when you feel your whole body has 'turned' on you. Various 'bits' of me are playing up and causing me grief so I do understand - you want it sorted out... you want it made better... you feel you're fighting a war on several fronts. Find joy in simple things... smell the roses and ignore the thorns.
how much I needed this site until I joined. Even in times when you feel you can't say a word if you're in distress, you can read. This alone can help in the darkness.
