I feel happy and sad at the same time, and this is the only place i can say how i really feel, so here goes-
I went to see the dr yesterday for various elements and thought i would share, had a lump that appeared behind my scar which to be honest my paranoia took over and i thought the cancer had come back as i have been in remission since jan 5th but they have said a pocket of fluid has built up and will have to have it syringed as soon as a date comes through which they aiming to do next week- this is such a relief as you can talk yourself its the worst scenario.
I have also been told i have endomorsisis which is causing massive problems with my periods and constant stomach and bowel pain but they dont think its cancer which is such a relief , but i have a scan in about two weeks (27th) which will definately confirm if anything is going on, just feel abit anxious but least not long left to wait now.
I have also been told that due to previous misscarraige that caused a massive infection, cancer treatment and endomorsisis it is very unlikely that i will have kids, so therefore having tests to deteremine for definately what state my fertililty is in , but they dont hold much hope, which is devasting as that is only thing i ever wanted was a child so finding out this news is very upsetting for me at the moment, especially as they have told me to consider a hysterecomy. At moment i am just waiting to see gynae dr so not going to contemplate hysterecomy until i get all the results possible. Just wish they hadnt said anything till all the tests and results are in. my ehad feels likes its in a whirlwind at the moment.
Just feel abit anxious and not very good at waiting around. At times it feels my whole body is constantly being attacked by one element or another -suppose im just tired and maybe feeling sorry for myself.
Any support welcome
Thanks Sarah (soz about my spelling)
FormerMember
I have just read your story and just wanted to send you my support. I can't begin to imagine how you feel but I bet you are counting the days until your scan. Hope all goes well and you get the news you want. Take care. xx
Lump, hysterectomy, fluid, infertility, endometriosis, cancer...these are not words that make you feel sorry for yourself...they are words from your health care professionals and they are scary. Give yourself some time...that is, try to hold rein on the worry until all the tests/facts are in. Once you have information you can make informed/intelligent choices. Until then it is fear and the 'what ifs' and they can be more disturbing than actual truths, so hold on if you can. Be pro-active when you can. My prayers and very best wishes are with you.
But it looks as though you could take one step at a time. Deal with the cancer and the fluid first, then worry about the other stuff later.
Wait until you get the results of the scan before you go with any of the other stuff. Maybe they can calm down the stomach and bowel pain, then see what needs to be done. Maybe a D & C would solve it. Maybe not. Just tell them that you will only agree to a hysterectomy as a last resort because of your desire for a child.
In any case, you might want to be in a Women's hospital for that, and any other gynae treatment. Different specialisms may view things differently, so wait and see.
All of this is my own opinion, so be guided by your medics, but don't go in for anything until they have described all of the options and their implications.
My name is also Ruth, I would also agree with the previous Ruth and worry about the gynae stuff later. It sounds like what is called ENDOMETRIOSIS its the lining of the uterus ENDOMETRIUM outside of the uterus. Im off work at the moment as I had major surgery last september to remove a squamous cell tumour from my mouth, Im a registered nurse on a gynae ward so Im aware of the terminology. I dont know if Ill ever get back to work, but I miss it so much my goal is to gety back there. I too have the feelings of sadness and happiness its weird and I feel much better talking to people who are having similiar experiences.
