I thought I was doing ok over the past couple of weeks but all alone last night I thought i'd sort out some photo's of Dad to put in some frames that I bought. Major blub session!! The reality that Dad's not here in body anymore came over me and had to put the photo's away cos I did'nt want them to get wet. The guilt came again of maybe I could have done more. If I'd pushed the doctors earlier Dad may still be here. Dad should be here, he was so fit before this damned cancer got him only 11 months ago. Its not long is it, fighting fit and looking forward to a good few more years yet then bang few months later we have a frail poorly man. You always think that your Dad is gonna be around, 'specially if youre a bit of a daddys girl like me.Things just don't seem to be normal now. My 3 boys are getting on my nerves, I think I've got the worst behaved kids in the world. They wont do as their told they fight, answer back,wreck havoc in the house. I actually look forward now to when they go to school and bed, how mean is that ! My mum is quite dependent on me as she is very forgetful and can't deal with letters and bills and stuff like that. I get stressy with her tooa after telling her for the hundreth time she don't need to pay council tax now till next year. Even my hubby is annoying me. I just feel that I want to get away and be on my own. Only trouble is when you have kids and work and household chores to do you just aint got the time.
Thanks all for listening xx
