My mum "the engine" of the family

3 minute read time.

Hiya, this is my first blog and i'm using this as my coping mechanism....my mum is 62 and she is the strongest, most patient and kind woman i have ever met.  We come from a large family, i have 2 elder sisters and 1 elder brother, many nieces and 1 nephew.  My mum and dad divorced when i was 3 and she has brought us up on her own with no help at all and she has done a fantastic job.

My mums pain first started after a fall xmas eve 2009 when the weather was very icy and cold...xmas day she was in agony and after the new year she went to the doctors and they said she had shingles and pleursy.  She was sent to the hospital for a chest xray as she had stopped smoking 2 weeks previously and she also suffers from COPD.  The xray was clear and they sent her for an MRI scan for the pain in her back.  The scan showed that my mums spine was crumbling due to oesteoporosis but they detected a small nodule on her lung so she was sent for another chest xray where this time their was this small thing on her lung.  A CT scan was arranged for her, when she went for the scan, they also sent her for a bronchoscopy which was not a very nice experience for my mum at all.  My mum expected it to be an enlarged cyst or something like that...not Lung Cancer.  She didn't find out until a week later that it was cancer.  The hospital first told my mum that it was Bone Cancer and that a small part had broken off onto her lung.  I was hopeful as Bone Cancer has some good survival stats.

Last thursday me, my sister and one of my nieces went to the hospital with my mum to find out more and when her chemo will start etc.,  Apparently now, they are saying it is lung cancer that has spread to the bone and they will only be able to shrink the tumour and not cure the cancer.  It's hard knowing this and we are not sure how long she will live for.  I supposed we have to take each day as it comes.  At the moment she still seems her normal self, she's very independent, still making her own meals, going to the shops etc but she is in a lot of pain.  Today she has bought a heated back pad from Boots, not sure if this will ease the pain but it's worth a try.  My mum has had her letter from Western Park in Sheffield to say her Chemo starts next wednesday.  I feel helpless as me or my sisters don't drive and my brother works a night shift so it will be hard to get her up there and back.  She is going to try a medicar for now but i've heard it can take a long time having to wait for other patients.

My mum wants normality, we are a family that visits my mum nearly every day, if not every day so we go and see how she is and if she wants anything from the shops or anything doing but at the moment she is determined to carry on and do it herself but once she starts chemo she will have to let us take over the reigns.

Well this is the start of my journey...my mums is going to be the toughest but i think the rest of the familys will come a close 2nd place.  Thinking positive thoughts yet at the same time being a realist.

I'll be back soon enough to update my blog....thanks for reading all this without nodding off lol.  C u soon xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi- sounds like you have a treasure of a Mum. Stay positive there and do repespect your mum's wishes for normality. Just one thing though Re getting your mum to Chemo - isn't this a time to call on friends ? Is there anybody who would be willing to take your mum, even if they couldn't stay could somebody else bring her back. You are right it is tough, but can make you stonger - just don't be afraid to ask for help from those outside the family. Often they don't realise what they can do to help & when asked you can be surprised how pleased they are to be able to do something. Delegation it's called !

    Best wishes to you & your mum, Jewels x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi xxx

    Stay strong xx

    There is a lot of love on here xxx

    And you need it too xxx

    Thanks for the read xx

    P.s did not nood off xxx lol xx

    It helps to write it down too xxx

    Makes things seem easier to deal with I guess xxx

    and to know someone will listern too xxx

    Regards

    Me

    x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hi i am at western park but for ovarian cancer,it is one of the best cancer hospitals in england.medi cars there arnt that bad.ive been in the waiting room when patients have only had to wait a short time.my thoughts go out to you and your family,but im sure you will get strengh from each other..............love and hugs evie xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you for your kind words.  I went to visit her today and she has made a big pan of stew n some yorkshire puds.  My elder sister has a kidney infection so my mum sent some stew down for her tea.  This is the kind of woman she is....so thoughtful!!

    I've heard Western Park is really good.  My auntie was treated there many years ago.  I have talked to my mum again about getting her some transport sorted but she is determined not to put on anyone.  I have explained that other would like to take her up to the hospital but she's a stubborn buggar so i'll say no more on the subject lol.  I've not been too bad today, seeing my mum being her usual self even though she must ne in pain but won't show it has given me strength...Thanks guys!! xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hiya, i've not updated for nearly a week.  My mum has had a bit of a rough time of it with her pain and also she developed a kidney infection which sent her temperature really high.  She had a district nurse come out and the nurse rang the doctor straight away.  The doctor prescribed some antibiotics but she was still in terrible pain with her back.  The doctor was called again the next day as she wasn't getting any better with the infection, her temp remained high so some stronger antibiotics were prescribed.  These seem to have worked as her temp is now normal today.  Another doctor came out yesterday as her pain was really unbearable, so some morphine in tablet form was prescribed...not sure of the mg but she says she had a really good nights sleep and today she was even walking around which she hasn't been doing since friday.  I'm wondering if it's the cancer or her oesteoporosis and kidney infection causing her the terrible pain but we shall see tomorrow.

    Tomorrow she goes into Western Park as an outpatient for her bloods and xrays taken before her first chemo session on friday.  She's had lots of visitors today, 3 of her friends and her sister so she was upbeat when i visited her.  As she's had no appetite from all the pain, she's barely eaten so i bought her an egg custard from the bakery which she enjoyed...i also made her some soup for her tea....Lets see what tomorrow brings but today she's free from the pain and that's welcome news for me..makes me feel better knowing she's not suffering. xx