Hi, everyone have just joined the website, have found it very good, my feelings on my cancer is one of being scared most of the time, and not being in control of my life. A rollercoaster ride is a fair discription of the situation, on speaking to my nurse asking her are these feelings normal? " what is normal ? " was her reply. Do other people feel this?, does it get any better?, I hope so.
FormerMember
Hello there. I have only been on this site for 4 days and already I find it a wonderful place where people understand that one day, you can be extremely scared of the future and the next, you think: hey, it is not so bad. Most friends and family struggle to understand that your emotions can change so rapidly without the disease itself having changed. (Does that make sense?)
All feelings are normal as far as I am concerned. I too am looking for the right 'level' of fear to have about my partner's brain tumour. The doctors all seem to think it is not really worth being too worried about but whenever I read something about it on the internet, it says that all low-grade tumours eventually grow and turn malignant. That IS something to be worried about as far as I am concerned ad yet no doctor has mentioned anything about the 'far' future. Maybe because that would just mean worrying for the next 10 years. (Tip: don't read too much on the internet unless you know exactly what you are looking for. It will only scare you more!)
I suppose it depends also on what your prognosis is. Some days it is easier to put things in perspective than others.
CancerResearch UK has a lot of useful information about Cancer and emotions around it. Have a look here:
Hi, Dutchcloggie thanks for your comments, yes people are contacting me and talking which is a great help, I hope you sort out your situation,i hope your partner's brain tumour is not to severe, and life deals you are kind hand, but it would be nice for you to know what you are dealing with so you can go forward with your life together, and cope with what the future holds for you, good luck to you both. Sandy
HI Sandra and Dutchcloggie. It is a ride being diagnosed with cancer. I'm a caregiver and its a ride for me also, but in sometimes distinctly different ways. But I don't worry about what is not right there to handle and I recommend that first off the bat. I read a quote that illustrates exactly what I mean "Worrying is praying for what you DON'T want!" So instead I postulate for only good news to varying degrees. When my husband and I recently were at a facility that specializes in Myeloma and were preparing after 4 days of diagnostics to meet with our doctor there for the first time, we sat down and decided how we wanted it to go and what we were hoping for. Because we were a little too afraid and wimpy to go for a complete miracle as our only hope, we decided to mock up several scenarios, all of which we would be satisfied and happy with. It worked wonderfully for us. So while we postulated the miracle we also had more realistic expectations too.
There is really no "normal" except that all that you are thinking and feeling IS NORMAL. You will soon learn that here on the site. Someone will put up a blog (there is a good one like this from Allpeachy) where they are in remission, cancer free and DEPRESSED! What's up with that? Suddenly the responses pile in of Oh My God that is exactly how I feel and I feel guilty and my family doesn't understand and so on.
So you will find a kindred spirit here and should feel free to express what you are feeling and low and behold you will find you are most definitely NOT ALONE. We are forever changed by cancer. So find a NEW NORMAL not the old one, that one is long gone. Question will be to make it better or worse and that is often a matter of view point. So hang in, stay strong, be brave and come often. Best, Lori
a rollercoaster is exactly what it is one minute your up and the next you can be down, it is so true, my brother had stomach cancer and after his operatetion he got so sick and that is just how i discribe it, it was like being on a roller coster, i also had days with him when i felt we were in one rotten world and after his medication was giving it felt like a totally different world, can't really discribe it unless you have been there, but i bet you understand,being scared, why ot course who wouldn't be, and as far as that nurse, please your going to meet all kinds, don't listen to everyone just because she's a nurse doesn't mean she knows what she is saying,It will get better once you can move on in your own mind prositive thinking is the best, your in my thoughts and prays
Lori, thanks very much for your comments, they were very helpful, I know I need to sit and think things through and think about where I am going or should I say where the cancer is taking me and talk about it. thanks again Sandy.
