All happened so quickly, after a recent fall my mum started making good recovery then started declining, an xray was done to which we hadn't got to the bottom, the initial report said suspected infection which was sent to orthopedics.
My mum was called for a blood test to which showed her calcium was high so we got a call the next day asking to go to the hospital they flushed her with I.V fuilds but they wanted her to stay for further tests she told them she was going on holiday the next day for her 80th birthday, so they reluctantly let her go with the view she'd probably have to go back once of holiday, we suspected cancer at this point as she has parathyroid which could turn cancerous.
On return from holiday she had some scans we were called in again and told her parathyroid was clear but had kidney cancer with hip mets, they would call a meeting that week to decide what could be done.
While we waited that week she stayed with me as by now she was in a wheelchair with limited mobility, on the Thursday her leg had swelled and she refused food being diabetic I was worried so phoned the hospital who told me phone GP to which I did they prescribed shakes and a painkiller, and was told to wait for the hospital to make contact.
That night she went to use the commode and heard a crack in her hip she was in agony so we called an ambulance, they couldn't find a break but they admitted her as she couldn't weight bear, while bed bound they did all the scans they needed to do along with a biopsy weeks later urology came to see her to say they wouldn't be operating due to her age and health conditions so we have to see oncology, so we waited eventually oncology came to see her to be told they weren't going to do treatment as they deemed her too weak.
In this time the weight dropped of her still bed bound we argued with oncology that she was living independently until this happened they can't just leave her bed bound surely they can do something so they agreed to give her raduim treatment.
But then she had someone from the palliative team come to see her on her own, to tell her that we're doing one lot of raduim to try to give her some movement in her leg, that's it.
We didn't see anyone else from oncology or palliative.
We fought for oncology to come back to see us as we knew nothing other than they planned to send her to mine but I had agreed that for her to mend I hadn't agreed I could nurse nurse her in her last days, I had no clue what her prognosis was.
They finally came back after I refused to be taking my mum home, only then they told us she has only 2 -4 months to live I was devestated although I knew with palliative team being out things weren't good and just how quickly she went from walking to bed bound the weight dropping off so quickly it was still a massive shock.
Since then we as a family agreed she needs to be in her own home, which would be better set up for her needs, and between us we would care for my mum.
I really have no clue what lays ahead in the next weeks or months, atm she still is the same person just unable to move about on her own she is on some pain medication.
Again we've been left with no help or support, the G.P has been fantastic doing referrals to everyone but she has only been home 6 days we have heard by phone from ot who is coming out were still waiting for the other services to contact us.
It all seems a bit sereal, I'm trying to look at things logically that this is giving us chance to get things done that we've been meaning to do like writing on backs of photos, I recently lost a very close friend who was only 55 yrs old so I'm blessed that my mum is 80 and got to see all her grandchildren grow up and now has great grandchildren.
I've tried to reassure her that we'll all be alright after I was ill myself last year, I've tried to show her I'm now strong enough, I want her to go not worrying that I won't be OK.
I'm hoping soon we'll have the right support and help in place. More than anything I'm worried that she will suffer.
