Well am finding it really difficult tonight so thought i just would write some stuff down. Get it out there and then maybe I can get some sleep.
Have my appointment with my consultant tommorrow to find out what treatment plan is. Except I already know whether it is just surgery or chemo/radiation either way my husband and I will never be able to hav the family we wanted. Im only 28. I know I should be focussing on getting better and staying alive but I am just stuck dwelling on this and cant seem to get past it so I can focus on treatment.
Honestly sometimes I just think I would give up everything just to be able to have this family even if it meant I wasnt going to be around for very long. I just dont want to go to see the consultant.
I just dont want any of this to be happening. I dont want to have to deal with it. I just am not strong enough.
Just want to either find a way to get past this issue, or find the courage to refuse treatment if I know I cant live without a family.
Its just all too hard!!!!!!!!!!!!
