denial or protecting those we love

Hi Robynn,

You may not want to upset him and to protect him from what you are going through, but I'm afraid you can't. He already knows and is already upset and clearly feels the need to talk to you about it.

We all wish things could go back to how they were before we had even heard of this site. Our "normal" lives.

The problem being there is no normal any more.

This is happening to you and you must make your own decisions on how you feel able to deal with it.

All I will say is having been a carer for my husband who was also in denial, I found things much harder to bear, having to pretend it wasn't happening when all the time I wanted to really talk to him and face whatever came together. The end of my story is very sad.

You sound as if you are at the beginning of your story, so there is every hope for you. Your journey could be made easier when shared with the one you love. It will also be easier for him too as he will be there right by your side supporting you every way he can.

I so wish you were not having to face this but if you find it difficult to come to terms with have you thought of talking to a Macmillan nurse. I found ours an absolute treasure.

Wishing you both all the luck in the world.

Grace X

hi robynn. i was exactly the same with my fella,we got through it in the end,i just didnt want peoples sympathy i guess and thats what it felt like at first if i had a pound for all the ppl who said ur strong u can beat this id be pretty well off by now(lol) but the thing is there just as shocked as you are and they really dont know what else to say.but they will not go through all the emotions u are about to go through and there are a lot of them all at once, so laugh cry scream shout but most of all remember you are still you this is just a blip in yoiur life. all the best sarah.x